THE REALITY OF MARRIAGE
“The Lord God caused the man to fall into deep sleep, and God took one of his ribs… made the rib into a woman and brought her to the man… Adam exclaimed “She is part of my own bone and flesh….” Genesis 2:21-23
In my recent book that “Dedicated to Women”, I explained the Genesis account of human-creation very well as the Holy Spirit guided me. I won’t be going deep here but I want us to understand what happened. Some versions of the bible explains it better, it was not a mere rib that God took from Adam… God did not create a new kind of human, God simply separated (in spiritual sense) the male and the female because the time for the manifestation of an already existing marriage has come. Remember, they were both locked together in a body. What God did was to house the female in a different body. Adam’s exclamation was not because he saw a woman, it was because he was able to recognise that what he saw used to be inside of him! What he saw was exactly the bones that was his bones, the flesh that was his flesh! The manifestation of a physical marriage started right there. And then in the proceeding verse, the Bible continues
“This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife in such a way that the two become one person” Genesis 2:24
Many have simply read this verse out of context, it was for the reason of Adam’s exclamation that a man leaves the parents to go get married and start up a new family. What this portion of the scripture means is that for the reason of the original creation of man, wherby it consisted of male and female as one person which was later separated, a man will therefore leave his father and mother (because he is not one with them) to be joined to his wife (as God being the witness) in such a way that two become one person in recognition of what used to be. Jesus also said in Mark 10:8
“he and his wife are united so that they become one flesh…”
Aside the revelations we have seen on the reason why marriage occur, the question now is, who joins the man and the woman? This will be a very controversial aspect of this presentation. Genesis said “… and is joined” and Jesus also said in Mark “…are united”. Who is responsible for uniting a man and a woman?
WHO JOINS THE Union?
Co-habitation is a very wrong tradition that has even found its way into many Christian homes. So many young people who are into sexual relationships do not only engage in pre-marital sex but also live together and even have babies as though they are married. This tradition seem to have been inspired by atheism. Some other people especially in the African and Asian culture requires their parents to simply approve their marriage and they go their way and live their lives without been wed in the Church. I would love my readers to note that I am a Christian and my presentation here will strongly reflect the bilical stand point on marriage and wedding. Is it right to just co-habit or even live together as long as the father of the couples have approved of the union? Only one verse in the scripture will change all of our perception towards co-habitation and the likes.
Why should we wed in the Church? Must a priest or a pastor approve of our wedding? Isn’t that unfair? Is Church-wedding really ncessary? Ok. Lets roll it. When we find answer to the initial question “who joins us together”, we will strongly see the forthcoming answer as less controversial at least for who strongly believe in the God of the Bible. Let us read a portion of Genesis that we actually read before
“This explains why a man LEAVES the father and mother and IS JOINED to HIS WIFE in such a way that the TWO BECOME ONE PERSON”
The above verse tells a lot about God’s design on marriage and how it should begin. Infact, when we follow the divine-tradition, it saves us a lot of stress and expenditure. First, why will a man leave his father and mother? It is because he is the result of the union of the father and mother but he is not a part of that matrimonial union. There always comes a point in a man’s life when he needs to be free from his parents, it is at that point that separation for another stronger Union begins. Matrimonially speaking, the man is not one with his earthly parents. Before he is joined to his wife, he leaves his father and mother and that simply means it is not his father that joins them! It is not wrong as done in many traditions where a father blesses a marriage but a father and the mother should not be the one and is not the one to join the both together. Many traditions did it the wrong way simply because they did not see God the right way until Jesus came. So many traditions are not God-based and so they depend on their human reasoning. Now that we have seen the light, we will be deceiving ourselves to also walk blindly. Remember that I said, the man must leave the father and mother to be joined to his wife: so after traditional marriages (for those who recognise it, eg: in African Communities), the couples must have to leave their parents to be joined together. Who then joins them together?
“And no man may separate what God has joined together” Mark 10:9
From the statement above credited to Jesus, I will coin the Genesis statement and the New testament statement together to bring up a theory that best explains what I am about to say
“For the reason of God’s original design shall a man (male & female) leave his father and mother to be united as one through by God”
Christians are not like people of every other religion, Christians are not like people of this world, they are a new breed. Afterall, the Bible says they are “New Creation”. Christians are the body of Christ himself who is God manifested as man. Jesus said
“When two or three gather in my name, I am there in their midst” Matthew 18:20
Since it is God who unites couples as one, it must be done because of Him and by Him! It is not like God is not everywhere but His manifest presence can only be felt by people who acknowledge him. So how do you get God to unite you with your lover as one? It is not by Co-habiting together even after fulfilling all righteouness to please your culture. You must leave your Parents (who as well knows what you are about to do) and come to Church where other believers acknowledge God’s presence and right there you will experience God’s union in your marriage. So many weddings are done in the Church building but it can only be Church-wedding when God is acknowledged. So God is the one who do the joining! A Pastor officiates the wedding, not because he is the only anointed… We are all anointed. He does that because you agree with other believers that he is your Pastor (leader of the local assembly).
Many people co-habit because they feel it is rather expensive to get married! Truth is, no place in the scriptures are we adviced to hold wedding receptions. Why co-habit when you can simply go to church, get married and aviod attention and reception? Infact, even the record of the wedding reception seemed to be rare! It is done according to capacity. In Europe and America, many people wed without having any organising receptions but in Africa, it seems very odd to have weddings where food and drinks will not take the day! Wedding, reception and marriage are different things. Great receptions does not determine great weddings and sometimes great receptions brings about great downfall of marriages. You don’ have to spend the little you have in wedding because you may find none to spend in your marriage.
When you don’t have enough fund, you don’t need any reception and other forms of entertainment . Even if you have the funds, entertainments and receptions are not necessarily compulsory. It may sound strange to so many people but as long as you have been united with your wife, you can go straight home and enjoy your honey-moon! It takes only wise decisions to avoid pleasing people and destroying your marriage. Pride and lack of contentment can lead to so many errors in marriage. Many couples began to have problems among theselves after they realise they have spent all they had on a mere ceremony. I am not trying to rubbish the idea of reception but don’t let the idea of reception rubbish your marriage. You can simply have an indoor little party among family members or very close allies… what matters is involving God in your marriage and allowing him to join the both of you as one. Of course the joy of marriage is not dependent on how great your reception went.
What then is the beauty of marriage? It is not the standard of the wedding ceremony… It is God’s presence that is the Beauty of Marriage! As long as God is involve, your marriage will turn out beautiful. From the Concept of Marriage, we have seen that marriage is God’s invention and His perfect will. We mustn’t disagree with that simply because many had failed marriages and some ongoing issues. Lack of knowledge and impatience has been the problem of many. But in truth, marriage is a beautiful relationship… If you doubt me, ask happily married couples.