WHY I STAND WITH GIRLS
After Facebook announced that 11th of October was a day set aside to remember our girls, lots of people decided to tweak their profile pictures, some made great posts about girls and of course, lots of awareness was created all for the girls. I think its a lovely thing to see everyone stand for our girls. Many people got involved not really because they wanted to but because it is a hot trendy subject at the moment! For those of us who have been into this for a long time, it served as revival or reawakening of campaigns targeted at reaching out to the world with a plan of reorienting both males and females on the need to understand who a girl is and who a girl is not! I don’t think it made everyone feminists but I think it made lots of people have a bit open heart towards our girls. I am not trying to join the bandwagon, I think I have been doing this before now and I feel the need to share this article with us.
When a Child is born, the first thing people ask is “boy or girl?” Boys are often celebrated at birth; they are considered great gifts and special attention is given to them because a typical African sees them as the correct heir. Baby girls are only appreciated after the boys might have come along… I think that is a problem.
During child upbringing, lots of Parents teach their baby girls to serve their brothers, condone all their mess and eat their shit! But, such lessons are not taught our boys! Our boys grow up to see girls as just an extra! What do we get at last? We get men who don’t respect the women folk, men who beats up their wives, men who sees marriage as a life contract between a slave and her master! Our Parents caused it!
The boys are not considered suitable for the kitchen! They are made to believe that it is “girls stuff”… I disagree, Kitchen does not belong to the women folk, and the Kitchen is made for any hungry person. If you have ever been hungry, then you must know how to use the kitchen. Our girls are made to see themselves as mere servants and useless folks… What have we gotten from such orientation? We have raised girls who are skillful in the kitchen but novice and unskillful in more important areas of life! We have raised daughters who feel that the mastery of kitchen is the same as being a good wife! We have also made our sons to feel that marriage means employing a cook for a lifetime.
We have ended up teaching our girls to keep themselves pure for a man! We have painted immorality to be men friendly but female unfriendly and therefore we’ve ended up making girls who wouldn’t hold themselves lose hope in themselves and we’ve raised men who don’t regret ever getting involved in immorality. After all, it is men friendly. Virginity has been defined to our daughters as the only mark of purity when in reality virginity and purity are not the same. What happens to those who lost theirs? They resort to prostitution because they have damaged what would have had them covered! Because of these orientations, our men may sleep with a hundred different girls and still be considered worthy of marriage… He is a man after all! But then, when a naïve little girl mistakenly gets deceived by some of these men who have no conscience, she is considered useless forever… She is considered a whore! Because we was told “if she is not a virgin, she is useless” We have failed to teach our girls about love for God, we have failed to teach our girls about hope in God, we have failed to teach our girls that there is still usefulness beyond virginity and we have failed to instruct our girls that maintaining purity is beyond leaving the hymen unbroken till the wedding night, we have failed to tell them that even if something geos wrong, they can still turn and follow the right path.
What happens when some of our daughters get pregnant at home? Our Father’s reject them; our mother’s deny they ever had sex before marriage… They are made to feel so bad and in fact, some are thrown out of the house! These girls are considered a waste and they are left to waste! But when a boy gets a girl pregnant, our father’s secretly hail him for being productive and even help in resisting their sons commitment to the life of the little naïve girl that has just been put in a family way. What is the result? Our boys grow into men, they see single mother’s as people who are not worthy of their love, people who were too wayward and careless… Singles mothers too are forced into becoming sadists, people who see all men as the same… Wicked, dangerous and cunning! Worse still… Our girls prefer abortion than become single mothers! Abortion not only destroys an innocent child, it also destroys our girls! Some die, some lost their womb and some leave a scar that is there to haunt them, to steal their joy and to make them feel useless.
While our girls are forced to do only the house chores alone, many of them are not encouraged to pursue their dream to the maximum! They are told that career women will hardly get a husband and boys are told that career women will hardly respect them and take care of the family! What do we get at last? Our career women are not respected, they are seen as arrogant people, many of our women end their pursuit with marriage to a man who doesn’t even know their worth, and men deny their wives the opportunity to become their best all in the name of making them submissive.
Our girls are waked in the midnight to be advised on how to treat a man. They are made to understand that they are just designed to be married by a man and that’s all. In a bid to fulfill that purpose, our girls go sexy so that they can get enough attention. Our girls are taught to be attention seekers and what is the result? Desperate spinsters become littered everywhere. Our girls become only interested in entering any man’s house as long as they can be married!
If I should say more and more, believe me, it would constitute a book and I am not going to be patient enough to deny my audience this little message at the moment when it’s still like hot cake. Why all the noise? What’s the fuss about? I will tell you now.
It is time to redefine who the girls are, it is time to reorient our young ones and make them understand that our girls are as special as the boys! It is time we teach our girls that purity is beyond maintaining virginity! It is time we teach our girls that there is hope even when they make mistakes. It is time we support pregnant babies, it is time we show them the biggest care in this world… We can do it! Hey, I know it is a bad thing to open your legs for a man but if you have ever done so, don’t feel useless, and don’t resort to damaging yourself the more… Allow yourself to heal!
Want to know why I have stood with girls for years now? Because their weakness has touched my soul, they have been forced to become weak and they have been forced to become too dependent. I know there are lots of boys out there too who needs a voice, I know lots of boys are passing through pains, rejection and maltreatments, my heart goes out to them too and on a good day I would be talking about them… I have chosen to stand for our girls at this time. I have chosen to be the girl’s boy and women’s man. Yea… I have been mocked a lot of times, I have been called “women’s Pastor” but maybe I love to be women’s Pastor.
Together we can raise voice of reorientation! Our girls needs to go to school, our girls needs to become whatever they have ever dreamt of becoming. Our single mothers can still find love and care… We need to tell women that all men are not wicked and all women are not prostitutes. We want our girls to be romantic and not sexy… We want our girls to be attractive and not seductive. When we continue to tell them how special they are and how better they can be, we are helping to reorient them that they are as important as men.
To all girls who have ever made mistakes, who became single mothers because they were naïve, who have lost their virginity because they wanted to prove their love, who have engaged in prostitution because they feel they are already worthless, who have been used by lecturers because they want to pass exams, who have been maltreated by their husbands, who have been divorced because of one thing or another, who are dying in silent with unknown secrets… I reach out to all of you! You are amazing and believe me you can find love again, you can discover great friends again, and your life can be sweet again… It begin with acknowledging Jesus and believing the message of John 3:16 whole heartedly.
We want to create an environment where every girl can feel free to harness her potentials and reach every height she ever wants to. We also want to create an environment where boys will respect girls and see them as future mothers of our nation… It is my desire to see those girls and women who have been deeply hurt get healed and get on with life… That is why I stand with girls…
I am George O.N, I am a man and I stand with girls.