This is my response to the arguments people raised when I said my wife isn’t coming to do the chores but to be a wife and mother! 


Few days ago, I wrote that my wife isn’t coming to do the chores but to be my wife and a mother to our kids and many people went berserk at least not many of their anger was fully expressed in the comment box but rather in my inbox, real life or counter posts. Some called it “cheap talk” and some said it’s “lack of experience” and I wondered what they’ve been experiencing in their own marriage! When you put God’s word away and allow your reasoning and traditions of men to control your life, you are bound to fail!.


With the reactions that followed that very simple and straightforward post I came to realise how back our culture or perhaps our ignorance has taken us! Does it mean some of our culture was founded in ignorance? Perhaps the case is not far from that of a blind man trying to instruct those with sight on how to use the road. Some thought it was about being a feminist but to date I don’t know what it means to be a feminist and therefore I have decided not to go about with that label even when some have branded me as one. 


In our part of the world (Nigeria), you see men talking about getting married simply because they have become very busy and would be needing someone at home who does the laundry, clean the house and do other domestic chores! That was the genesis of what we know as “house wives” today! They are not really so married to the man but to the house! But do you know it is so opposite of how the wise man, King Solomon explained a virtuous woman? They would quickly quote Proverbs 31:15
“She wakes up early in the morning, cooks food for her family, and gives the servants their share.”
But they forget the part that says “She looks at land and buys it. She uses the money she has earned and plants a vineyard.” Proverbs 31:16 
A wife isn’t bound to stay at home and just do the house works! Naturally, a woman wouldn’t want her husband to start competing with her in the kitchen because they are programmed to be more caring and concerned on those areas! But do you know? Naturally, a woman isn’t supposed to do the laundry? That is usually the man’s work because it requires the use of muscles! Now you see the balance which so many people neglect? With the orientation many received in our part of the world, a good wife is one who does the laundry, do the cooking, do the cleaning, take care of the children and just look after the house! Isn’t it in this part of the world that the adage that says “women’s education ends in the kitchen” was founded?


Let’s take a look at the first marriage of this world! The first marriage was officiated by God and it’s safe to observe how and why the woman was given to the man! Adam was taking care of the garden without the woman, the garden was his home then! God didn’t say a man needs a woman so that she can come and work in the garden… No, God said it isn’t good for a man to be alone! A man needs a companion, someone who is always by him at all time! Adam never complained that there was too much work to do, the only problem he seemed to have then was that a suitable companion was lacking and therefore certain purpose could not be fulfilled. But then, the woman was made manifest and brought to Adam! The Bible declared that for the reason of the first union shall a man leave his father and his mother to become one with his wife! (Genesis 2:24)


The woman is designed to complete the man, both are designed to complement each other! Both are designed to work out things together in understanding. The slavery of certain women started with the fall of Adam in the garden and they left into the world where Satan established a different system which is the opposite of God’s design! God told Eve even before women began to experience it “…Your husband will rule over you”. That wasn’t God’s original plan!


Someone might argue that “well, the deed has been done! God’s original plan has gone!”. I have a news for you… Things changed in the new testament and every Christian is a new creature! We simply decide to live it out! In Ephesians 5:25 Paul said “husbands, love your wife just as Christ loves the church!” 


The implication of Paul’s statement is too big if we begin to consider it and we have to! How does Christ love the Church? First, Jesus has set the Church free from heavy burdens (Matthew 11:28)! Jesus has set the records straight by doing it first and then asking us to work as He works in us (Philippians 2:13)! Jesus displayed servant leadership to a very great extent before expecting the church to display it too (John 13:12)! There are so many other things we can get from the love of Jesus and you quickly discover how it is expected that a man loves his wife! Loving your wife isn’t a talking stuff but an acting stuff! Now you see that we have a different life in Christ!


When I say my wife isn’t coming to do the chores, I am trying to communicate that the role of a wife in the life of her husband and kids isn’t just to cook and do the domestic works! While those ones are expected from everyone, it is not the reason why we entered a union! This is where many people actually went berserk! Let me explain why we will all do the chores but aren’t marrying to do the chores.


As long as you live, you must take care of yourself, you must cook food or buy cooked food to eat and stay healthy! You must do your laundry or pay someone to do it for you and all that! However, is that the reason why God made you? No! God didn’t make you to eat, take care of yourself and die! We are all designed for a purpose but in the course of fulfilling that purpose, we continue to fuel ourselves! It’s like saying that the reason a car is designed is to consume fuel… What kind of brain will agree with that? No… The car was designed to facilitate our movement but however, we fuel the car, wash it and maintain it so that we can happily enjoy it! No one buys a car simply to park it in the garage and wash it everyday… 


As humans, we must take care of the things around us so that we can live more healthy. Even if you’re not married, your house needs to be cleaned! When you get married, the both of you now owns the house and it will still be cleaned either by you or your spouse or you pay someone to do it! However, cleaning the house isn’t why you entered the union! A woman is made for a purpose beyond cooking and doing house works! In fact, no one was created for that purpose… We only do that because we want to stay healthy and of course continue with fulfilling purpose.


Now, that is exactly what I was meaning to address when I said my wife isn’t coming to do house chores but to really be my wife and mother to our kids. What does it mean to be a wife? It means to be a companion and completion for a life time! That is why I am getting married and not because I would be needing someone to do the house works! If that is the case, I will employ a house keeper and have her do the house work! Who is a wife? A cleaner or cooker? She may be doing those stuffs but that is not why you got married to her! Proverbs defines a perfect wife by saying

“She is worth far more than jewels.  Her husband depends on her. He will never be poor.” – Prov. 31:10‭-‬11 ERV

God’s purpose for marriage is to reflect His glory (Genesis 1:26-27), reign to His glory (Genesis 1:28) and produce His likeness (Genesis 1:28). The above three things can never be achieved without a union in love! A union without love may produce babies but it will not reflect God’s glory nor cause us to reign because a house divided against itself will surely fall! Now you see that God’s design for marriage isn’t about who is going to do the house work or who is going to make the money! Those ones are mere cares we take for ourselves simply because we are living in a house and not because we are married! Marriage shouldn’t happen because we suddenly need a cook or cleaner! I have seen situations in this part of the world where a man who is traveling gets married to a woman just to make her take care of his parents while he’s away! Many people marry for the wrong reason! 

Who is a mother? Someone who gives birth and feed her children? Awww… Being a mother is beyond that too! Anyone can feed anyone and every woman can give birth without actually being a mother to those she gave birth to! A mother joins the father to train up children in the way they should grow so that when they become old they can’t depart from what their parents have taught them! A mother doesn’t give birth to children just to fill the house and tell people that she’s productive! There is more to being a mother than just producing children! That will be a lesson for another day.

A good wife and mother will always care, she will always want to do the house works because she is designed to be more attentive to certain needs! A good husband and doesn’t allow her wife do all the work alone because he knows it’s a world of two becoming one and not a world of one ruling over another!
God bless you!


#GracefulGeorge | George Onyedika Nnadozie | @georgennad


3 thoughts on “THE WIFE AND THE CHORES

  1. God bless you. You have made me believe there are like minded people like me in this world. The purpose of marriage is companionship first not even reproduction. Our ignorance have robbed us of the heaven God intended us to experience in our marriage. When we marry for the wrong reasons our very foundation is wrong and when the winds of life come. We know what will happen. Thank you Sir for speaking the mind of God concerning. Let he who has an ear listen.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Le couple traditionnel fonctionnait bien? L&alruo;escsqvage aussi, tsé. Ça coutait pas cher de main d’oeuvre: profits maximums! Wow! Et les esclaves étaient logés-nourris! Kess tu veux de plussss!


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