One of the greatest duty a wife owe her husband is to understand him and give him the full support he needs. In one of Paul’s writings, he admonished the Romans to respect authority because they were appointed by God to be leaders (Romans 13). While talking about leadership, I don’t hesitate reminding leaders that Jesus have laid down examples of what leadership is… I do this because many ignorant people can capitalise on the word “leadership” to become bossy and treat people under them as though they have no right. Jesus watched the feet of His disciples (John 13:1-17), He clearly showcased His love for the Church (us). Leaders are not rulers, they serve!


Having said that, a woman must understand that her husband is her leader, she owe him maximum support and understanding! From the manifestation of the woman in Genesis, she was given a role, to help her husband (Genesis 2:18). Every husband is helpless without the support of his wife. Just like we are to obey the government because they are our leaders, wives should obey their husband and support them. 


“Wife” isn’t a status or a label! It is an office, an exalted office at that! A wife has been called into the office of helping and supporting the leader of the house who is definitely her husband! This means, if the man isn’t getting somethings right, she tames him with her support and find ways to help him! If he isn’t doing so well in business, she supports​ him with her earnings too! He may find it difficult footing bills all alone, she can start working and start making her own contributions! Understanding is key in taking control of your husband! Proverbs 31 explains what a good wife is like! Getting married to a man isn’t a platform to eat and rest! It is a place of assignment!


Like earlier noted, the leadership of the man in the family doesn’t mean he should be bossy and dominating! No! That is the terrible situation many wives have found themselves in! It is anti-moral for a man to be domineering. The husband provides leadership by caring and cherishing his wife and not by giving orders! Wives are meant to be taken care of as they provide support to their husbands! When a woman starts playing all the role in the family, the man has failed as regards his office as a husband! The Bible says that the husband provides leadership the same way Christ provides to the Church! Not the way the world does! The big question now is, how does Christ provide leadership to us?


He loves us even in our shortcomings. (Romans 5:8)

He keeps interceding for us even when we don’t know we have sinned. (1 John 2:1)

He watched the feet of His disciples and asked them to lead in this manner. (John 13:14-15)

He cares so much about us that he laid down His life for us. (John 5:13)


The feet in the ancient times is the dirtiest part of the human body because people travel on foot and dusts can build up everywhere! Washing of the feet was the most humble thing anyone can do! But we saw Jesus washing the feet of His disciples and asking us to also do this as leaders! A husband must learn to watch the feet of his wife! This means that no matter the mess, the man has been empowered to clean them! We’re in a world where women are forced to clean mess while the men relax! When you show so much love to your wife, she will also be ready to wipe your feet with her hair! Women knows how to do more! Jesus showed so much love to the rejected women and no wonder one came pouring her tears on his feet, wiping those feets with her hair and anointing them with the most expensive perfumed oil! When you show your wife love and servant-leadership, she will definitely be more submissive! When you wipe her feet with your towel, she will wipe yours with her hair and pour all her savings on you!


Few years back my Dad had serious business challenges. All his goods got destroyed and for six years he was doing nothing! I could remember how it all went! He planned that I was going to study at Tel Aviv in Israel, it was a big plan! He had already started processing documents for us and we all thought it was going to be smooth and sweet! I remember the day he had news came, we left house in the morning with smile! He told mum he was going to buy her a brand new car and we were all celebrating it! We were also among the first people who pay school fees at Winners International School back then!


At a point, he became a driver who earns six thousand naira every month! I and my elder brother came out of secondary school with no hope of furthering into the university! It was very terrible as we lived in serious poverty! A man who was building a house, who had his own car suddenly became poor overnight and at it’s worst he became a driver who drives a principal to school every morning. I could watch his struggles and she’d tears… I watched my mother’s healthy skin grow weary and people kept making fun of us! The landlord came to our house and took away every of our valuables because we couldn’t pay house rent. I stayed at home and people who got admitted into secondary school while I was graduating also graduated!


The story continued this way but Mom knew it wasn’t going to end like that! She kept supporting him with encouragements and all that! She was also saving! You can’t believe it, she was able to save up some money (she was a house wife) from the money she got from him and some family friends and she gave him those money to start up again. I told you it was six years of trials right? Yes! Today, Dad has a car, the house is nearing its completion and he is talking about building another house! This was possible because mum supported him! Those challenges also built me  a into becoming independent! This is the secret of every successful family! It is not only the woman that owe respect to the man, the man also owe respect to the woman! Respect is for one another!


Men must learn to do away with their ego and love their wives genuinely! When you love her, she can do anything for you! This is God’s desire for every home! Thinking if this is in the Bible? Let’s summarise with this portion of the scriptures


“Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.” – Ephesians 5:21‭-‬28 MSG


God bless you




Your comment concerning this will be highly appreciated!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.