First impression matters a lot… I hear.

But don’t keep holding on to first impressions because that will be the ugliest thing to do. Sometimes, the problem isn’t even about the other person but about you, maybe you just didn’t see well or never cared to understand what you saw. Some have wrong impression about people, not because the people they met were wrong but because they already had preconceived imaginations about those people before meeting them. So when they look, they are looking to criticize. This is often as a result of what they heard other people say or based on their own wrong assumptions.


So many times people keep tracks of people’s past and pile up scrolls containing the list of people’s weaknesses just like the book of the law! They keep seeing people with the eyes of yesterday and hold on only to the reports of yesterday. Well, people get better, stronger and richer everyday as long as they are open to improvement. If you had known someone as a poor man yesterday, you may be very wrong to address such as a poor man tomorrow.  


Jabez of the Old Testament was a rejected person who met so many sufferings, people knew him as that beggar who had no choice and his family abhorred him. But it took only a moment and anyone who still called him “poor” became utterly wrong. Paul was once upon a time called Saul, he was an enemy to Christianity, he was committed to persecuting believers in Christ Jesus, it only took a while and He encountered Jesus. He had a change of name and had an entirely new life! Anyone still calling him Saul became utterly wrong. 


We must know that people get better every day and we should always hope on that. Many of us are committed to carrying destructive news of people’s past or even rumors and assumptions, we go about telling people “do you know she is a prostitute?” while the said prostitute has experienced Jesus and became a better person! Your gossips doesn’t change who she has become, it only makes you a liar! There is no gain in giving a wrong impression of people, if we can’t help people become better, we shouldn’t even talk about them.


People who keep spreading stories of people’s past so as to destroy their image are not up to date; they are just committed in spreading stale news.  No wonder, Paul declared “I have wronged no man!” because the old him isn’t him anymore, Saul was dead and Paul is who we have now. How do you deal with people? You still deal with them according to their past? You still have a very wrong impression of people?


Two things you must always avoid are assumptions and rumors; it would always be a lie. This is why you must be careful how you reject that poor man today; he may be your dream man tomorrow who you’ll only have in your dream and not in reality! You must be careful how you reject that classless woman today, she may be the woman of your dreams tomorrow who you will only have the privilege of meeting in your dreams but watch on TV in reality. Don’t destroy your future links to your destiny helpers by holding on to a lie about people or seeing people with the eyes of yesterday.


Let me paint this picture and round off.

The disciples of Jesus followed Jesus till the day he would be killed. They watched from a distance but they were sure Jesus was crucified; they saw Him die and even saw how and where He was buried. The Jesus they knew now was a dead man, they never imagined Him resurrecting even as He said. They were so sure that Jesus had died; even the women who were so caring even to His dead body weren’t doing it because He would resurrect and meet them caring for Him. They were just mourning Him. But after three days, the story changed and anyone referring to Him as the dead Jesus became a liar! In fact when they came looking for Jesus holding on to the stories of the past, there were asked by Mr. Angel “why are you looking for the living among the dead?” the story changed! Halleluiah! How about those moving into the city and announcing the death of Jesus? They all became wrong! He doesn’t belong to the dead anymore!


It is like knowing someone who lives in the slum before you travelled to another place and never get to meet that person again. Then, someone brings you the picture of that person asking if you know him and you start telling him he is a very poor man who lives in a slum without hope… Then, he asks you to help him locate the ‘poor man’ and you go to the slum to look for him and someone asks you “hey man, what are you looking for here?”, you put up the picture and say “I am looking for this man” and the person responds to you “why are you looking for the wealthy in the midst of the poor? This man lives at the city and even help take people out of the slum! How do you think the person you convinced would see you? He will see you as a liar! Why? Because you were holding on to the past about someone who doesn’t even exist in it again.


Things change, people change, people lie about others, your assumptions can be wrong and all of that! Don’t be committed in spreading your assumptions, rumors or people’s past as truth! You may never succeed in destroying their image if that is your mission because your stories and blackmails will never reconcile with what people seeing. You may say he is a thief, people come close to him and instead of stealing from them he gives to them. You may say she is a whore and people come around to see a virtuous woman… You suddenly discover that the more you hold on to people’s past, rumors or assumptions, you start losing your own value!


It is people of low self esteem that keeps holding on to people’s past, rumors and assumptions and keep wishing those people never change because they feel by painting others people black, they can gain relevance.

Don’t also keep relating with people based on what you have heard or assumed about them. Yes, sometimes you need to cautiously follow people if you hear they aren’t nice but always be open to accept a clear definition of who they are when you meet them because you may have heard lies or stories of their past that doesn’t belong to them anymore. Remember, every saint had a past and every sinner has a future. When you walk into the future of sinners who become saints, their past doesn’t belong to them anymore.


God bless you



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