RELATIONSHIP | A MESS OR NOT?


:
You used to be free, you had no cause to worry, you didn’t feel accountable to anyone, you come home in the evening, sleep like a baby and wake up worried about nothing! You hardly load recharge card because you don’t make calls and you don’t care if you had data on your phone or not! Your games, movies and books were just enough for you! You don’t care if your friends hang out with other friends and when your call isn’t picked you just throw your phone to the bed and continue with other more important things! You just lived a very free life! The most important person to yourself was yourself.
:
Suddenly, you started spending much time with someone, things started building up and a chemistry was going on. You both reciprocated the feelings and agreed to build a relationship. You started making calls every night, you started feeling life without him/her would make no sense! Priorities changed! You started getting worried when there was misunderstanding and you could have sleepless nights waiting for him/her to return the calls he/she had rejected. The happy you suddenly started being moody and unhappy, it seemed like your joy had been stolen from you and you started questioning yourself “is not better to stay single forever?”
:
Have such happened to you? It happened to everyone, some overcame and some couldn’t because it was just too much for them. Personally, the last word I have always wanted to hear was “relationship” because I was so scared of it that the thought of it sends my heart on flight!
:
I think I know what the problem is. The truth is that you have so much freedom when you aren’t engaged in any form of relationship but you also lack discipline at times. It takes discipline to be able to bear the responsibilities of a relationship. There is no room for comparison between being without a relationship and being in a relationship. Questions like “is being single better than being in a relationship?” Isn’t meant to be answered! They are two different kind of life!
:
In a relationship, you are not managing yourself alone, you are now managing yourself and another person. You are dealing with someone who sees things differently, someone who understands from a different angle and you must not always agree together. You can easily agree with yourself, you can easily take care of yourself, you can easily understand that there is no money therefore you may need to skip eating for an entire day, yOu do what you want at your own will. But in a relationship, you aren’t agreeing with yourself, you are meant to also see life from your partner’s perspective so that you can understand him/her better. Unlike yourself, you may disagree with him/her to some point, things may not make the same meaning to both of you and what you see as mistake may not be mistake on her own side. This time, you are now dealing with someone else and not yourself.
:
As a single person, you haven’t burdened yourself with responsibility and therefore you can never feel the weight of any responsibility. When people are sad it may not get at you because you are not accountable to anyone except yourself. But in a relationship, somehow your soul has been attached to another persons soul and there is a connection that would make your partner affect how you feel.
:
Babies play a lot because they are free! They have no worries and they eat a lot! They are not responsible for anybody! But a father or mother is always concerned about the family! Sometimes they would have sleepless nights thinking on how to take care of the family, how to make it work and why it isn’t working! It wasn’t that way when they were not burdened with responsibilities of relationship.
:
Having known this, you may understand why things aren’t the same way when you were single and when you’re in a relationship. However, you can have a happy relationship when you decide to improve on various factors. First, decide that your spouse can make you happy but your happiness don’t depend on your spouse! It is not as easy as it sound anyway!
:
Consciously learn and condone your partner. So many times, that it isn’t working out well with someone you love doesn’t mean you should quit! Quitting sometimes don’t solve relationship crisis. If it couldn’t work out between A&B, don’t think C&D might be better. You must look at the root of the problems you usually have and solve it! While I agree on overlooking some faults, make sure serious problems are solved, not overlooked.
:
Don’t always expect much from your partner regardless of what you have done but sometimes also communicate what you expected. We must be open in our relationships to make things work. We need to always review and see if we are getting it right or wrong. You can always tell your partner “this was how I expected you to do it” and in turn he or she would communicated their own expectation too.
:
Sweet marriage don’t just happen! It is a reward of hard-work, two people who met their mess, had their differences but decided to clean their mess and reconcile their differences.
:
If you are not ready to bear the burden of relationship, don’t enter! Relationship is not a burden but there are burdens in every relationship and it is the duty of both partners to carry this burden together. Even our relationship with Jesus has its own burden. There is no relationship without a cross to carry but we shouldn’t make it heavier by putting on other loads from other sources.
:
Endurance, understanding, patience and forgiveness are key to having a lasting and healthy relationship. Above all, until love crosses the boundaries of your feelings, you may never truly fight to the finish!
:
You may also consider not letting people talk you out of what is good for you. Sometimes we experience a lot of mess in our relationships because we allow people to tell us all the bad things about our partner but they never mention the good things! How do you ever think everyone is happy with your union? How do you ever think that the person who comes breaking ugly news about your partner wants you both to remain together? This is why you must not give room for such. When people come discussing your partner to you and they are always out on the negatives, don’t give them the impression that they are making sense even as you find ways to help your partner fix those leakages through which they come in but don’t make him/her feel that someone said this or that! It may also start breeding insecurity which is the ultimate goal of your frenemies. In your relationship, try as much as possible to be positive even when people are painting a different picture. In most cases you are closer to your partner and you know him better and know when they are being sincere about you or simply out for an attack!
:
Relationship isn’t a mess anyway, it is the true test of our ability in managing others.
:
God bless you!

#GracefulGeorge

Advertisements

Feel free to talk about this! Post your comment here!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s