GOD! KILL ME PLEASE!!!


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Some years back I had a terrible tooth ache! It started when I was in junior primary class and continued till I finished secondary school! Almost every night I would not sleep, I would be rolling around the floor, crying and praying that the pain go away! Whenever I was in a Christian meeting and we were told to pray for miracles, I would tell God I just need my tooth healed! I never doubted God, I could lay hands on TV when any man of God appears on TV to pray but my tooth continued aching!
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One night, my prayer point changed! I started asking God to kill me! It became my heart desire! I preferred never waking up again to the ache I was having! No one understood me, not my parents, not my siblings, not my friends! Everyone was sincere with their sympathy, they would always make suggestions and I followed every suggestion but they couldn’t feel the pains I was feeling because they were not in my shoes!
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Some asked me to use gauge Klin detergent, I did! It never worked! I was asked to drop fuel on the hole in my teeth, I did… It got worse! I bought all manner of drugs and even started abusing paracetamol so that I could sleep at times! When I suggested removing the aching tooth, everyone got against me! They saw it as an abomination to remove it and they recounted stories of how people removed their tooth and have never stopped removing because the disease entered other teeth!
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What they never knew was that I preferred having no teeth at all than having an aching tooth! I preferred dying anyway! They didn’t understand how painful it was for me, they couldn’t feel my pain exactly the same way I was feeling! Then I met someone who has been there before! She showed me her teeth and told me she had removed it, she was so concerned about it and told me the only option I have now is to remove it or fill up the hole!
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I went to the dentist and I was told my tooth was already decaying and it has affected my gums and the tooth of several other teeth. They told me the hole can’t be filled anymore and it would have been better if I had looked for professional care when the hole happened initially. The hole has been there for more than 10 years without any serious attention because no one knew how bad it was except me… I was the one experiencing the pains! No one in my family has ever experienced it. That is why till date I don’t enjoy hard-chewy foods because I chew with only one side of my teeth and I can easily get tired of eating! I always prefer watery and very soft foods… Junks most times! Well, I removed the aching and decaying tooth, it’s been years now and I have had peace of mind!
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When people are not in your shoes, they will never know where it pains! Believe me, even people who sympathize with you may not know how hard it is for you… If they do, they will move from sympathizing with you to doing everything to help you out of that situation.
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This is why you must not always expect people to think the way you think in every given situation! A man who has never gone hungry will not understand it when another says he almost died of hunger! A man who has never gotten thirsty will never know how it feels to be thirsty! A man who has never had tooth ache will say that another man who is crying of tooth ache is childish! It’s like watching swimmers and thinking it’s just to dive into the water and start flexing muscles.
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Before you tell someone “are you crying over that little matter?” Think again! Before you tell someone “you got offended over that little stuff?” Think again! When people cry, we should learn to give them a shoulder and tell them “don’t worry… It’s going to be alright”, we should try to go beyond sympathy and help people out of there problems, that is the real show of love.
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If people has seen me asking God to kill me, they might wonder how stupid I was. As long as we aren’t in peoples’ shoes, we may not understand why they acted the way they did… But we can learn to reason with them and see from another perspective.
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God bless you.
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#GracefulGeorge

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