Okay, let me say this very important thing concerning loyalty in relationships.
When you are in a very serious relationship with someone, you ought to express faithfulness and stay loyal to that special person. Unfaithfulness isn’t just about extramarital sex, there can also be unfaithfulness resulting from being emotionally attached to someone else. Unfaithfulness to your partner is like stabbing him or her behind their backs!
There is no way you can be frequently chatting, checking on someone, calling, sharing your problems and visions with someone else without becoming emotionally attached to that person or that person becoming emotionally attached to you. I mean, it is not possible. I am not saying you can’t be friends with someone of the opposite sex while in a relationship but when communications are frequent especially more than how you communicate with your partner, emotions are built up and sometimes the temptations of unfaithfulness starts to surface.
Truth is, faithfulness is intentional! It may not be convenient but you can train yourself into faithfulness. The bible says he who is faithful in little will be faithful in much. This means that when you can be faithful in a relationship you can be seriously faithful in marriage. It is not impossible to be faithful even though you can momentarily be attracted to someone else. How you control that attraction is what matters.
What happens when you get attracted to someone else? It is not wrong to be attracted to someone else but fix your focus to purpose! Don’t fall for every attraction, they can be distractions. It is not in the power of your partner to make you faithful, you don’t blame your partner for unfaithfulness. Even when your partner is not getting it right, you try to show them how to get it right. Instead of cheating it is better to quit the relationship entirely. I hear certain people say “spouses who aren’t sexually strong can cause their wives to cheat”, in fact I have been approached by a proponent of that school of thought who saw me as a potential contingency husband and wanted me to play the sex role since her husband wouldn’t do it so well! If there were things that made me not to give it a second thought, one of them was because I had a relationship I was accountable to. I didn’t just kept it to myself, I spilled it out and got encouragement.
Don’t say your partner caused you to cheat, it is partnership for goodness sake! Issues ought to be solved together and that’s why the person you spend most times with, talk with and share your thoughts with should be your partner. A young girl narrated how she always went to a Pastor to share her issues including the emotional ones. Every time she would call, chat and visit the Pastor in his office. The Pastor wasn’t accountable to his wife in the sense that it wasn’t everything he tells his wife. He was genuinely helping the young girl but at a moment emotions started to build up! These emotions were unguided because they both lacked accountability to their partners. It wasn’t healthy since there was no definition that would guide that emotion. It led to a lot of mess.
While some people who lack moral values have and endorse contingency partners, don’t enter one unintentionally by being in unguided informal endless communications with someone else who isn’t your partner because you’ll not just end up hurting him or her, you’ll end up hurting yourself and perhaps putting a scar on your future. If you must be very close to someone else perhaps through communication or other ways as a result of work or projects you’re both working on, be responsible enough to let your partner know about it and give accounts freely without skipping the important parts. It will help keep you in check.
Be intentional about building great relationship with your partner. Be intentional about being faithful…. Let’s bring a balance to this decaying world and give our children a better example.


Add yours

Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: