You see, many times I’ve come across people who complain of being madly in love with someone, do some crazy sacrifices but never get same love or even half of it in return. Truth is, most people whom we are remarkably in love with aren’t meritorious of this crazy love, they may be deserving of our love but never deserving of the surplus. How do you explain using your ultimate and best savings to show love to someone who will accept all of it but show little or no gratitude? How do we explain being committed to someone who feels very entitled but never accord us the same level of privilege in their lives?
Seldom, we look at people who make crazy sacrifices for love as people who aren’t wise, we see them as people under a spell but we can only understand this when we suddenly find ourselves in their shoes. I wish it doesn’t happen but it does and there isn’t any clear-cut solution to it. There is someone you may swiftly connect with and it seems something in you went off the hook, you may have promised yourself never to be all out for someone but you suddenly realised that this person holds the switch that activates all of your mellowness and magnanimity. You might be so aware that they aren’t into you but you don’t care as it is a risk you’re willing to take; to give everything for love, not knowing if you’ll be accepted.
On the other hand, the person you’re showing so much love and commitment may also be busy trying to fascinate another person. His heart may be beating so hard for someone else who doesn’t care. They may be leveraging on your generosity to enhance their game in winning the heart of someone else, you may just be someone they fall back on anytime they need support and they may even be taunting you in their hearts, laughing at your “careless generosity.”
There are times you swear to yourself never to call him or her again if they don’t reciprocate your kindness but you end up still falling deeper in love with them. You may be the one atoning for every mistake including theirs, you may be the one doing everything possible to ensure it works out. Sometimes, it’s because you met that person in whom all your guards are down. I don’t know why it happens, it may take deliberate mastery of emotional intelligence to fight it off but habitually, you’ll find yourself in this “crazy love” and appear helpless to yourself.
Have you seen yourself in that situation where you’re willing to accept just a little? Have you seen yourself in that situation where you don’t even require them to love you so much, where you are satisfied with their pretence? It is good to let go when you’re taken lightly; when you aren’t appreciated and when you’re treated with total disregard but how easy is it? It is difficult when this is one person that stimulates the magic in you. You aren’t being stupid, you aren’t under any spell, you simply happen to meet that one person whose presence destroys your guard!
It’s always a miracle to meet someone as crazy as you in love, it’s beautiful to marry someone who is deeply connected to you the same way you are deeply connected to them. But I’ve also realized that we don’t have to be crazily in love with people before we can appreciate and try connecting to them in a deeper way which they deserve.
I’ve seen myself in those situations, I’ve seen myself ready to give up everything for someone whose presence activates all the magical feelings! I’ve seen myself crying every night for being in love with someone who feels adversely about me. I’ve seen myself willing to be with someone who can just accept me but needn’t love me so much.
We often ask why A loves B but B loves C. But I think we are the problem. Our level of love must not be the same but if we are wise enough, as hard as it is, we would be willing to give it all up for that special person who loves us so much, that one person whom we drive crazy! They are the ones who need our love more, they love us thinking they have no option but we should love them; giving up every other distractive option that we have. Instead of trying to no avail to win the heart of someone who doesn’t feel the same way about us, why not channel that affection to that person who has shown us a level of love that we don’t even deserve?
It is very hard to win the heart of someone who doesn’t find you attractive but it is easy to love someone whom you drive crazy. Maybe we should stop looking for love at the wrong places and learn to love people with whom it is easier. We shouldn’t treat people badly simply because we know they are so into us and will find it difficult walking away. We shouldn’t make it hard for people who are crazily in love with us. If we reciprocate their love for whatever reason, then we should help them by walking away and saving them from wasting their time.
I have been there before, I have loved so crazily, I have made sacrifices and still got a doleful experience at the end. If I get the opportunity to be loved so “crazily” by someone, looking elsewhere and ignoring the “God sent” will be the most stupid thing to do. Sometimes Angels and “destiny helpers” don’t appear so attractive at first, they don’t even fall into our spec at first sight but when we accept them, we discover beauty in them, in a way we’ve never done before.