Every relationship is unprecedented, unique and dynamic with respect to those involved in it. What is working great for them may work poorly for you and what works great for you may work poorly for them.

So, a popular celebrity announced that his wife left her medical career just to help him build his dreams. It is beautiful, it is working for them but it may not work for you. Some men left their professions just to help their wives fulfil their aspirations and it worked great. There are just no straight cut rules that apply to everyone.

Some rules apply everywhere though. For example, love and submission in marriage are vital if you want your marriage to stand the test of time but how you love and submit can be unique. You may not need to express your love the same way your neighbour did because everyone’s love language is different.

You need to understand something. You are different from your neighbours, you are different from that celebrity you follow on social media and things compatible in their relationship may never be compatible in your relationship.

It is just like families. Families are different and what is a crime in this family may be a norm in the other family. In my family where I grew up, you are considered a thief if you dish food for yourself without permission. You are considered a criminal if you open the fridge and take snacks without being instructed to do so but I have seen several families where it is normal.

Several things determine the realities that you’ll experience in your marriage. It includes the background you and your spouse are coming from, the mindset both of you have been able to build over time before the relationship and the kind of career you are pursuing.

It is not all kinds of careers that will require a man or a woman to leave their profession. Nothing is wrong with your spouse if they couldn’t leave their job or career to pursue your career dreams and nothing is wrong if your spouse saw a need to leave their dreams to pursue yours.

It all boils down to one thing. Discover what works in your relationship and take advantage of it. Don’t mess up your marriage or relationship simply because you want to mirror what you see on social media or movies. On the surface, it usually looks nice but in the depths, it takes more than you were told.

In the end, whether you have your career or not, whether there are dreams you have vowed to fulfil or not, find a way of making commitments to your partner’s dreams. Find a way of making yourself a relevant influence in their decision making because you are after all… a partner.

I call you blessed.

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