A Short Note On My Birthday

I remember failure like yesterday.

Yes, I failed. I didn’t just fail, I failed woefully. I was at the peak, I was getting there, my dreams and aspirations were shaping into my reality, I saw myself in an envious position, it was a place that consistency truly brought me but what I failed to realize was that consistency wasn’t enough, consistency may still not guarantee sustenance. Consistency is just one out of many elements that must be fused to bring about lasting success.

There was consistency but less focus.

There was zeal but less restraint.

There was knowledge but less discipline.

I needed what I lacked more than what I had.

The words of Jesus reechoed, “if any man must build a house, he must sit and count the cost.” I had to retreat and take a seat, I had to start counting to be sure I wasn’t building on the wrong foundation. Should I continue building on what was prone to fail or should I rebuild from scratch?

Should I let pride cloud the truth and decide to live a lie? For others, I was the best thing that happened and would still happen but for me, I was lost, I needed salvation… Not the salvation of Jesus which I already had but salvation from myself!

I hesitated for a while but right-clicked the reload button.

It may take a while but I am glad that I took this step years back so that I realign with my shadows and move forward. Many people believe that they are succeeding because they are moving forward but forward ever always doesn’t mean “rightward”. You can be moving forward and still be moving amiss. There are times you must take a look again at the map, there are times the only means to reroute is to turn back and find where you missed it.

Let me give you a clue. Some of us had all it takes but also added one thing into the mix that corrupts the whole thing. It could be a wrong relationship, a relationship that puts off the fire or discourages you from fanning it aflame. It could be a habit, an addiction that isn’t letting you become your best, it could be lack of knowledge; the illiteracy of who you are. Many things often lay hold on the steering of our lives and keep pushing us out of track.

We may need to park and fix it before continuing the journey. We may need to abandon that vehicle and jump ship. Whatever it is, whether you have to go backward or forward, just make that that you are moving “rightwards”.

I am ready to keep walking until the wings are completely formed. I am ready to keep walking until flying becomes my thing. Not like I won’t flap, leap and try but I won’t trust the wings until they are mature and strong.

But whether you crawl, walk or fly. It is important to know that life is a journey and the most important thing is to get to where you were billed to go.

I don’t make a big deal out of birthdays, it is not a big deal to me but it is usually an opportunity to reflect, look back and do a self-appraisal.

Did I say I failed? Yes, I failed so that I can succeed and now, the story is different. Let’s save it for another birthday.

Happy birthday to me.

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