It would seem absurd to say
that breakup is beautiful and at its most critical state; a gift when you still
loved him or her but watched them go away or when you just couldn’t help it but
walk away. Although the instant feeling we get from it is awful, when we think
of it in another way, we would be glad to discern that many times, a breakup
isn’t a terrible thing, it isn’t even disgusting! It would be the most
beautiful thing that has ever happened to us.
It is okay to cry over
breakups, it is okay to mourn what you seem to have lost, the good days you
have always banked on and the people you have scared away from your life just
because you believed that space is already taken. But can I ask you a quick
question? What exactly do you want? What meaning are you reading into their
departure? It doesn’t matter the reason why they left, it doesn’t matter if
they made you call it off but your thanksgiving should be on the fact that you
are done with someone who truly wants to live without you. When people suddenly
realize that you don’t fit into their future and decide to walk away from you,
it is not bad to cry but never desire them again and never even pray to have
them back. Walking away from you is probably the most beautiful favour they
have done to you.
Would you have fancied that
he or she stayed more years and still eventually break up with you when they
had gotten deeper into you? Would you have preferred they left you right after
the altar vows? Would you have preferred they left you with a baby or two? I
know someone whose reply would be “yes!” but that is because she is
still lost in the euphoria of the past, she still feels there are people she
can’t live without. In a matter of days, weeks, months or perhaps, years, she
will realize we can really do without people who don’t truly want us.
We truly don’t have so much
time on earth, why spend it mourning something that isn’t meant to be with us?
Why spend it with someone who has a lot of options aside us? Why spend it with
someone who believes there isn’t any future for us? They aren’t bad people
anyway for wanting to live without us but we deserve better, they don’t deserve
those tears and mourning. What they deserve is your acceptance of their
departure! Since you were just an option in their lives, you truly need someone
who doesn’t see you as an option, someone who has seen something in you that
they can’t let go. It is not about something who can’t do without you, it is
about someone who has decided not to live without you. When someone wants to
walk away from your life, they don’t deserve your tears. What they deserve is
that you show them the way out through the exit door.
Why want to stick to a
relationship that is on its last leg just because you are afraid of walking
alone for some time? There has to be a serious connection, there has to be a
strong definition of purpose and there has to be a sense of security. When he
or she always makes you question your place in that relationship, they don’t
deserve you. See that break up as a blessing, see it as empowerment to move
ahead with your life and build a more meaningful relationship that is relevant
to your future and your dreams! No matter how bad you had felt, you need to
change the way you look at break-up, it is usually a huge blessing!
Sometimes, that breakup is salvation from abusive and toxic relationships that you wouldn’t let go! It would be emotional abuse or physical abuse. This relationship may never have been what you desired, you may have been the one apologizing for all issues, you may have been the one trying to keep the relationship going simply because of how far both of you have gone! You may have been enduring months or years of never being understood, never been cared for or respected but you can’t let go because you believe that somehow it would work out. You believe you may manage all along and he or she has helped you by breaking it off!
There are other times it may
be that your partner depends on you for all of his or her emotional fulfilment!
You are blamed for every time they don’t feel good, you are blamed for every
time they felt sick, you are blamed for not picking calls, visiting and being
there all the time! Now that he or she is walking away, why not stand out for
them to pass? Don’t you know this a deliverance? You need your own space, you
need your own life too. You aren’t Jesus and you don’t need to lose your own
life and dreams just to please someone who is all out for himself and not for
Anyone who wants to leave
you today can still leave you at any point, don’t try stopping them. They can
leave early and they can leave late! The longer their departure takes, the
severe the hurt becomes. The more you try to hold them from leaving, the more
you breed a bigger problem for yourself because you will keep getting much more
emotionally attached to them. So, when they leave, they have liberated you from
problems and regardless of the reason why they left, see it as good news for
yourself, see it as deliverance!
Breakup isn’t as bad as you
think, it is not bad at all! It is beautiful and very relieving! You may be
willing to stay in an unhealthy relationship just because you have low
self-esteem and you think you aren’t good enough for a beautiful and better relationship
but breakup delivers you from that mentality! It gives you another opportunity
to learn and even avoid certain mistakes you had made. Breakup is another
opportunity to get things right, it doesn’t mean that things will automatically
become right just after breakups but now you have an opportunity to correct
things you couldn’t correct earlier and you also have an opportunity to look at
yourself and make adjustments! Breakup is an opportunity to build again right
from the foundation.
It is true that a big vacuum has been created, it is true that the once closed door of your heart has been left open once again but it is also true that you have a better opportunity to give that space to the right person. This is the beauty of breakup.
Note, this is a throwback from 7th March, 2016. For a more recent teaching on this gives a better interpretation, check out CONCERNING WOMEN IN MINISTRY
PLEASE HELP ME DO JUSTICE TO THIS VERSE OF 1COR 14: 34, WHAT DID PAUL MEANT BY SAYING THAT, “WOMEN SHOULD REMAIN SILENT IN THE CHURCHES. THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SPEAK, BUT MUST BE SUBMISSIVE AS THE LAW SAYS.”? – Uche, Nigeria
I am really glad that this question came in due season when am rounding of my book titled “dedicated to women”. This will be included in the extras page of that book because it has been a problem for a while among believers.
This is one of the most confusing parts of Paul’s writing. But we must also weigh every argument to see that it balances with the other parts of the Scripture. Some people are of the view that Paul really meant that women are to forever remain silent in every church meetings and they should never Prophecy, Speak in tongues and talk about the gospel! Let’s see what other portions of the Bible said
“‘In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams.” Act 2:17
Daughters were included in those who will prophesy! Remember, in the New Testament, Prophecy edifies the Church and not a person. Anyone who Prophecies is speaking to a congregation and not to him or herself. Paul said,
“Anyone who speaks in a tongue edifies themselves, but the one who prophesies edifies the church.” 1 Corinthians 14:4
So you see, when Joel saw what would happen in the latter days which is now, he also saw daughters speaking things that build up the Church! In verse 5 of 1 Corinthians 14, Paul also expressed his desire that they prophesy! He didn’t say it was only the men that he desires to see making prophecy!
Paul also said in verse 31
“All of you may proclaim God’s message, one by one so that everyone will learn and be encouraged”.
It was not a peculiar thing applied only to males! If women are not to speak, how then do “everyone” proclaim God’s message?
In Luke 2:38, we see Anna a prophetess who prophesied in the temple! Even according to the law that seems to have disfavoured women, there were female prophets who really prophesied and edified the brethren. We would also go on and talk about the daughters of Philip who prophesied… They actually spoke in the presence of many!
What then was Paul implying?
First, Paul was trying to bring order to the Church. The structure of the Church then was not as strong as we have today… It was still an early church undergoing challenges of new trends! The gifts were new, prophecies were new, speaking in the tongue was new and all that! It wasn’t something they were used to and overlooking how it was being done would make them do the right thing the wrong way! If women are not permitted to speak at all, what about the writings of the same Paul in 1 Corinthians 11:5
“Any woman who prays or proclaims God’s message (some translations has “Prophesy”) in public worship with nothing on her head disgraces her husband…”
Understanding this would also lead us to understand what he meant by asking women to wear a veil when they prophesy. He was simply commanding them to be under obedience! People often argue that women must cover their head in today’s Church but let’s also understand why Paul said that and what he wanted to communicate.
Because of the power of the Holy Spirit upon the Church, women also saw themselves prophesying. It became a problem because some women saw themselves as literally not under the authority of their husbands anymore since they could do what was thought to be man’s speciality. In those days, covering of the head was a sign of submission just as the wearing of the ring is a sign of faithfulness in marriage today. If the wearing of the ring was in vogue in that day, I am sure Paul would encourage married couples to wear a ring as a sign of faithfulness in marriage.
So, Paul asked that even while the women prophesy, they have to do so in submission to their husbands! In some cultures, especially outside the middle east, head covering isn’t a sign of submission and if Paul was communicating to them, he would have used what means “submission” to them. Remember, what Paul asked the women to do was to wear a veil and not cap or head-tie… He was also talking to married women! This simply indicates all right round that he was simply teaching them to manifest the gift of the Spirit in submission to their husbands! Having such a wonderful gift of prophecy doesn’t mean also taking over the position of the husband as the head.
Paul used the same term while writing to Timothy in 1 Timothy 2:12
“I do not allow them to teach or to have authority over men; they must keep quiet”
First, from the context of what Paul said here, this was his style. It wasn’t a universal norm or a rule that governs the entire Christendom. He was telling Timothy that he (Paul) personally don’t allow women to teach or there may be a translation issue here which also may mean that Paul was saying “I do not allow women take authority or overtly command their husbands.” but we saw why! Because it is not right for women to exercise authority over men! Yet from what we see in 1 Corinthians 11:5, Paul encouraged that women proclaim God’s word in public places but in total submission to their husbands. This is very peculiar to married women!
The law to which the apostle here refers, has been thought to be, Genesis 3:16, where the woman was commanded to be subject to her husband, and it is said, that he should rule over her; yet that law did neither restrain Miriam from prophesying in Exodus 15:20, nor yet Huldah, to whom Josiah himself sent in 2 Chronicles 34:22, of whom it is also said, that she dwelt in the college. But setting aside that extraordinary case of special inspiration, it was, doubtless, unlawful for a woman to speak in the church.
What do I mean? Today, we have women Pastors, Prophetess and even Bishops. No matter what title they bear, they are to operate in submission to their husband but we cannot say they are wrong to have attained that height! As long as they were selected, they are rightfully positioned! It is the attitude in that position that is of concern. Women can prophesy and even teach when appointed. In my book “Dedicated to Women”, I explained that it was not God’s intention nor his invention that women be under their husbands as in being a “servant” to them. Women are partners and co-labourer with their husband because they were separated from the man for that purpose! It is ungodly to literally rule over a woman! By “rule”, I mean depriving them of their rights! However, it is also ungodly for a woman to stand tall over a man! Because she was called to be a man’s helpmate and not a man’s competitor.
When Jesus met the Samaritan woman, she became a preacher! She talked about Jesus in public! When the Marys encountered the risen Jesus, they proclaimed his resurrection! By virtue of who they are, women are not restricted to proclaiming God’s word in public! However, because they are designed to be helpmates (not servants), they are to do so in obedience, humility and gentility but not in timidity! When a woman understands what the term “helpmeet” suggests, they would also understand that they are a powerful force to be reckoned with.
As I grow up and understand God better, I get wiser, I know better and my personal opinion about certain things changes. This may not really sound good to you if you are homophobic but don’t you think it is time we see from another perspective? I am not part of the LGBT movement and I am a PRO-life.
We all know what God’s opinion about homosexuality is if we are looking in the Bible but sometimes we pretend like we don’t know God’s opinion about premarital sex, adultery, cursing, lying, anger and so much more. Many of us, especially evangelical Christians are ever ready to throw stones and even want homosexuals imprisoned. As much as God doesn’t like things being used outside purpose, God doesn’t hate homosexuals and God isn’t homophobic. We may want to talk about Sodom and Gomorrah as an indication that God hates homosexuality so much but we should also look back at the story of Noah to see how God hates sin in general. One of the biggest indications of God’s hatred for sin is the cross on which Jesus was crucified! But that same cross is the biggest indication of God’s love for the man regardless of who they are. First, let us establish here that if Jesus was to be physically on earth, He wouldn’t be handling the issue of homosexuality the way we do today because we are excluding it from the list of other human issues and in this regard it becomes discrimination.
You don’t force people to do the right thing especially when it
doesn’t affect you just as you don’t force people to stop being angry, being
envious or being promiscuous and all of that. Many countries have never forced
prostitutes to stop prostituting even when it affects the society in some ways,
we have never stopped people from having premarital sex and all of that, why
should we then single homosexuality out? It is because many of us are guilty of
other misconducts and possibly homosexuality is the one we have managed to
avoid and then we think we are better than other people.
We treat homosexuality as though it is the worst of it all. If
we should jail homosexuals for 14 years in Nigeria, we should also jail people
who commit adultery, fornication and so on. If we say premarital sex is about
two consenting adults, what do we say about homosexuals? The world is
experiencing a very high rate of moral decline but we can’t just single out
homosexuality neither should we force people to become who they don’t want to
Let me talk specifically to some of my fellow Christians.
What was committed to us is the gospel of reconciliation and the
cross says to anyone who is willing “come!” It is not something we
force people to become and it is not something we must have to subject people
to some kind of false therapy just to become who we want them to be. If we love
God so much, we should be preaching the gospel of Jesus and not becoming
moralists only to homosexuals. Moralism doesn’t save anyone, sometimes it
increases the number of pretenders. Most of us have friends who are
fornicating, most of us have discussions with adulterers and many of us even
among the Christian leaders are messed up in sexual sins, what do we do about
them? Do we push them to jail? Do we discriminate against them? Do we carry
placards around asking the government to either legalize or not legalize
This is an unpopular opinion and I hate the act of homosexuality
with every sense of it but we are not being moral by punishing homosexuals and
not punishing fornicators and adulterers. I don’t hate on homosexuals and when
I meet them, I don’t even start arguing their lifestyles with them. If I should
preach Jesus, I just preach Jesus because that is the only life-changing
teaching. If we say Jesus changes people, then we should allow Him to do the
change. Many people have testified about experiencing change from certain
addictions after they got born again and therefore we must leave to God what is
His duty. If Jesus said, “come on to me all ye who are burdened…”
And someone burdened with sin comes to Him, it is not your business what God
decides to do with the person.
Christ never for once campaigned against people’s weaknesses, He
rather offered Himself as a way out of the nature of sin. Jesus didn’t sit the
woman caught in adultery down to tell her how bad adultery was but He simply
told her “go and sin no more.” If she was brought back to Him, He
would still say “go and sin no more.”
Putting up a law against homosexuality without putting up a law
against fornicators is discrimination and I think this is the perspective from
which many people have never viewed this. These personal moral issues are not
what you get people out of by enforcing certain laws on them. By doing so, we
only allow it’s progression is secrecy or stubbornness. Countries shouldn’t be
legalizing or criminalizing homosexuality in the first place. I understand that
the reason some countries legalize it is to offer some kind of protection or to
reverse a law that has been put against it. We never had to legalize
prostitution or premarital sex but people do it broad day light, people get
pregnant without a husband and it happens to be none of our business because we
know these are personal human challenges. Criminalizing homosexuality in the
first place makes it right for the ban to be lifted.
I also think the areas that need to be looked at is in
protecting the kids and ensuring a lifestyle that isn’t theirs is not enforced
on them especially when adopted by homosexual parents. As a Christian who believes
in the authority of the Bible, I can’t endorse Pastors being coerced or
encouraged to perform homosexual weddings, freedom of worship means allowing
people to practice their doctrine. Homosexuality for me is a moral issue that
it is as bad as fornication and adultery and should be treated as such. We made
it a big deal when we criminalized it, we made it a big deal when we took
homosexuals aside and focused on homosexuality as though it is something worse
than other sins. The big deal we made it backfired and so as a payback to years
of torture, hatred and discriminations, they are asking for more and will
continue asking for more because we made it our general issues when it was
supposed to be their personal life issues.
Nobody made fornication and adultery a general issue, nobody
made co-habitation a general issue and that is why there isn’t any outrage. For
instance, for years of gender discrimination, many women are beginning to ask
for more than what the dictionary defines as feminism. Some women are beginning
to ask for more than what is actually right. Some moral issues are personal and
should be handled on a personal basis. There are good people who are helpful in
society but they are homosexuals, there are people who have great skills but
they are homosexuals. In our society, they are helping but personally, they
have moral issues they are battling with. Whether they admit it is a moral
issue or not isn’t our business anyway just as those engaged in premarital sex
are going on with it. Sometimes, it takes the conviction of the Holy Spirit or
a person’s willing efforts to get certain people to stop a certain lifestyle.
If I should be asked to join a campaign of choice, I would join
the team that says “homosexuality should not be criminalized” because
it is discrimination to select personal moral issues we will punish and the
ones we will not punish. Nigeria, like many other countries, is a secular
country. If we want everyone to follow our lines of thought and convictions by
force, then maybe we should blame God for not enforcing a theocratic government
on earth. Sins punishable by law on the nations should be those criminal
activities that endanger other people’s life. I have been a victim of abuse in
the hands of certain homosexuals right from my junior secondary school days and
I was helpless to do anything about it, the memories make me throw up and keeps
me sober but I am also not going to judge people based on my personal emotions
My appeal to most Christians who believe that Jesus makes the
difference is to allow Jesus to make the difference the way He wants to do it.
Even before we came to this earth and identified with our earthly parents, we already had a father. Many people never realized this on time, we were told about God, we were told about His sovereignty, we were told that God created the entire world and is the Lord of all. Whether you found it in the Quran or in the Torah, one thing was common; God is the King of Kings, the Lord over all and for some people, His name is too holy to be mentioned by mere mortals who couldn’t attain God’s standard of Holiness.
However, there is something remarkable that we always disregard whether you are seeing it from the Quran perspective or from the Torah. In Quran 38:71-72, we see a report that says this “I am going to create a human (Adam) from sounding clay of altered black smooth mud. So when I have fashioned him and breathed into him (his) soul created by Me, then you fall down prostrate to him.” and we also see an even more profound perspective in Genesis 1:27 “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” God created man with an amazing intention, He wasn’t going to start bossing man around and He had always wanted the man to be honoured. If God made man in His image, He wanted much more than worshippers.
God didn’t say “let us create man to worship me” He already had worshippers who were created to worship Him but if the man should worship God, God wanted willingness to worship and therefore, in the beginning, there was no command from God to man, to worship Him. Making man in His image alone was a glory to be reckoned with that the fallen angel (satan) became aggrieved!
“If God made man in His image, He wanted much more than worshippers.”
After Satan had deceived man to seek an extra knowledge which actually doesn’t exist, the man left the ways of God and sojourned into the path of Satan; leaving Satan in control (Luke 4:6) and venturing into a futile search for God and what pleases Him. This was how religion was birthed, the man continued to try to please God by their own efforts but the more they try the more they failed because God needed no effort of man to make him perfect just as in the beginning. God already made man and bestowed on him all authority, honour and goodness but Satan made the man believe that there was more hidden from them. The only thing the perfect man never knew was rebellion against God in the search for more knowledge above what God has given.
As men kept
searching for God and seeking for ways to get back to fellowship with God,
religion kept thriving and the dimensions of religion kept expanding. Laws upon
laws kept coming and even when God reveals himself to selected people, they
couldn’t really explain what they see in the way that it explains the person of
God and therefore they were very limited in their explanation of God because
they were spiritually blind men.
this, the Bible reports in the new testament “…the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and
generations, but is now disclosed to the Lord’s people.” Various
people all over the world sought for diverse means to reach God but God can’t
be reached with human effort as it undermines the person of God! In seeking for
certain covering and spiritual fulfilment, men began to make their own gods and
this was one of Satan’s goals. While everyone wanted to deal with Satan and
negative energy, the devil was inspiring them to stick to him in hidden ways.
“God needed no effort of man to make him perfect”
God decided to narrow down on just one people through whom He will spread the knowledge of Himself to the entire world. It wasn’t a strategy that would make sense in an instant, He was preparing a way to make Himself known by Himself. No Angel, or Prophets would explain God in a better light and so God was committed to making Himself known all by Himself. Because of spiritual blindness, the God who desired fellowship was seen as a God who was power-drunk. That was the distorted view of God that religion has. Both the Torah and the Quran presented God as a Master in a sense it presents us as His slaves to some degree. Describing the helplessness of man, Bildad said to Job in Job 25:6 “how much less a mortal, who is but a maggot– a human being, who is only a worm!” but seeing from the point of revelation, David cried out to God saying in Psalms 8:4-6 “What is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? Yet you made them only a little lower than God (Adonai) and crowned them with glory and honour. You gave them charge of everything you made, putting all things under their authority— ”
wallowed in ignorance, spiritual loneliness and quest to have that vacuum
filled up which only God would fill, God kept revealing Himself to the people
He had chosen but they only saw it in types and shadows because they were
spiritually blind as the corruption of this world still covered their sight
like veils. Concerning this, the Bible says in Colossians 2:17 “These are a shadow of the things that
were to come…” When God told the Israelites in Exodus 29:45 “Then I will dwell among the Israelites
and be their God.” He was making reference to a spiritual Israel which
the nation of Israel only represented as a type and shadows of what was to
Prophets of old, God announced His plans for the Salvation of man and healing
from the spiritual blindness that has ravaged the earth. Micah wrote in 5:2 of
his prophecy “The Lord says,
“Bethlehem Ephrathah, you are one of the smallest towns in Judah, but out of
you I will bring a ruler for Israel, whose family line goes back to ancient
times.” Isaiah also
saw in a revelation as he wrote in Isaiah 7:14, 9:6 “But the LORD will still give you proofs. A virgin is pregnant;
she will have a son and will name him Immanuel… A child is born to us! A son
is given to us! And he will be our ruler. He will be called, “Wonderful
Counselor,” “Mighty God,” “Eternal Father,” “Prince of Peace.””
“God kept revealing Himself to the people He had chosen but they only saw it in types and shadows because they were spiritually blind”
later, in a very lowly manger in Bethlehem
just like Micah prophesied, a child was born and as Isaiah had written, He was
born of a virgin. Some wise men of the East who understood the timing saw the
star of God appear in the sky as it was written in Numbers 24:17 and they went
to behold this child and bow in worship, acknowledging that indeed God, God is
among men at this time. When Herod learnt of this and sought to kill the Child
who was named Jesus, Hosea 11:1 was fulfilled as Jesus was taken to Egypt from
where He came back to Israel. This also clarified why Jacob had to go to Egypt.
Even the Quran couldn’t hide certain truths about Jesus no
matter how it is tried. The Quran said concerning Jesus in Surah 3:45 “O
Mary! Allah giveth thee glad tidings of a Word from Him: his name will be
Christ Jesus, the son of Mary, held in honour in this world and the Hereafter
and of (the company of) those nearest to Allah.” In Quran 3:39,45,4:171,
it couldn’t be scraped off the Quran that Jesus is the word of God. In Quran
40:56, it is also agreed that God creates with His word! Quran agrees too that
Jesus is the Spirit from God Quran 21:19. Although efforts have been made to
deny the divinity of Jesus, it can’t be completely hidden as no other prophet
in the Quran was given such attribute.
this Child, the Bible in John 1:1 records that He is the word of God, the same
word with which the entire world was created. Although called the “son of
God”, He was God in the flesh showing us the clear picture of who He is
and who we should be. We were made to be like God in the flesh and Jesus being
God in flesh was the clear example of who we were made to be. Jesus grew up
possessing the very qualities of God, clarifying all the rumours that had been
broadcasted about God. He was out to correct all the information given to us
about God. The teachers of the law never understood Him but it was also His
intention that they don’t understand Him because it will set the stage for the
salvation of mankind.
“Even the Quran couldn’t hide certain truths about Jesus no matter how it is tried.”
In all the
confusions arising from the teachings of all the Prophets, Jesus said in
Matthew 5:17 (CEV) “Don’t suppose I
came to do away with the Law and the Prophets. I did not come to do away with
them, but to give them their full meaning.” We never knew the meanings
of what these Prophets had written because they were codes and not reality, we
had documented their teachings and made laws out of them not knowing it was only
but a pointer to Jesus. Although Jesus knew that some things would be heavy for
the people to grasp in their state of blindness, He said: “I and the Father are one.” (John 10:30) Wait a minute!
This is the Master He was talking about, the God of all flesh, the one who uses
the earth as His footstool and He didn’t call Him master but
“father!” He didn’t just call Him Father, He also said they are one.
around doing good, healing the sick, supporting people with compassion in His
heart and treating women so right that in Him, they saw the picture of the
perfect man. Jesus was both the vivid picture of the perfect man and God all at
the same time. In Jesus, humanity and divinity were pictured together. He went
about forgiving sins and setting the captives free!
As that was never enough, Jesus took upon Himself the old judgment upon man which says in Genesis 2:17 “If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die”. The judgment had kept resonating as all men were labelled sinners because of the disobedience of one man from whom all men proceeded from. The devil thought he had won, he thought he had separated man from God and made men see God as a wicked boss but Jesus took up the sins of men upon Himself so that the judgment would be met on Him. This was the biggest and shameful defeat of the devil. No wonder He was called in John 1:29 “…the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.” Using the blindness of the world who never recognized Him, He walked up to the cross in pains. The pain was too much on His humanity that He cried out in Matthew 26:39 “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” In the face of this pain, he still opted for what He came to do which was to liberate man who couldn’t liberate Himself.
“Jesus took up the sins of men upon Himself so that the judgment would be met on Him. This was the biggest and shameful defeat of the devil.”
crucified, He died, He was buried and on the third day, after preaching Himself
to the spirits of the dead and solving the problem of sin from the foundations
of this world, He resurrected in glory as a new man! But wait a minute! This
time, He didn’t just tell us about His father in heaven. Although He had made
us know in “the Lord’s prayer” that God is our father, He made it so
much more obvious after His resurrection when He said to Mary Magdalene in John
20:17 “Go instead to my brothers and
tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your
God.” By the reason of His sacrifice, we had become just like Him. We
had become His brothers in the flesh and His children in the Spirit. We can now
know God beyond “Master” and we can now call Him “Daddy!”
us that we might become Him. And the Bible had reported in John 1:12 saying “But to all who believed him and
accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.” He didn’t
want us to just be His subjects, He didn’t just want us to bow and worship Him
just like the Angels, He wanted our friendship, He wanted a union and He wanted
us to recognize Him as our father. In John 3:16, we also saw that if we accept
Him, He gifts us His own life!
Testament gospel presents us with an answer, a liberating answer of who God is
and who we are in Him. The Quran called Him master, the Torah and the Prophets
did same, some even made idols and referred the idols as Him but He came as
Jesus, presenting to us a very clear picture of who He is! God is not just our
God, He is also our friend and He is our father. Therefore, we are no longer
afraid to mention His name and His name is Jesus.
“Jesus became us that we might become Him.”
brought an end to religion and brought alive the first intent of making the
man. All God ever wanted was relationship and here we have it in Christ! The
Bible says concerning them that have believed, Romans 8:16 “For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s
children.” What wasn’t clear has become clear.
have we been presented with this truth, not in the Quran, not in any religion
and even with the shadows of truth in the Torah and writings of the Prophets,
there was limited information. It is only in the New Testament, in the
manifestation of Jesus that humanity is clearly defined and the works of
darkness greatly humiliated! The Bible says concerning us in Romans 8:14-17 “For all who are led by the Spirit of
God are children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves so
that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your
adoption to sonship. And by him, we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit
himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are
children, then we are heirs–heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ if indeed we
share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.””
exciting truth! We aren’t trying to find God anymore, God has found us and we
are united with Him in Christ. You too can experience this truth for yourself.
It takes you just one thing; to believe it! God is no longer a myth, He is
exposed and what a blessing it is to be called “His children.”
“Jesus brought an end to religion and brought alive the first intent of making the man.”
God bless you.God has a family and it is a great privilege that we are members of God’s family. Religion cannot offer this, this is only possible in Christ. Imagine Jesus saying to us individually “I am your brother and we are seated together on the right hand of my father and your father.” Just as the Bible reports in Ephesians 2:6 “And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus.” Hallelujah!
I have been very sober since the new wave of suicide struck Nigeria. Akachi’s suicide got at me because I know a bit of what he felt and I have been there. Chukwuemeka Akachi was a final year student of University of Nigeria Nsukka who relied on his poems to pour out himself. For him, sadness was his muse. It is sad that he couldn’t pull through. Many people have put the blames on his friends for not being so attentive or even his family for not giving him so much love but I think otherwise. I believe he received love and attention, there was just more to this.
Naturally, humans tend towards “me first”
and therefore may not even notice the other person is dying. We all have one
point or another where we had needed sincere help and no one ever came to our
rescue. Right in my inbox, I have so many people wanting me to help them one
way or the other and I keep staring at their messages wishing there is much I
could do and seeing these things, I can’t even tell anyone I have my own
struggles. We all appear happy and shiny here with people thinking that we are
very happy and issue-free!
No one is to be blamed for another person’s suicide.
We can only wish we had known better. People commit suicide every day all over
the world and it isn’t something peculiar to us. Some people even with all the
love they had received still follow the pathway of suicide. Everyone laments on
the level of their bereavement and everyone with spill out what he or she has
been filled it.
The case of Akachi brought tears to my eyes and I have
been soberer after realizing that friends truly reached out to him. For Akachi
and several others, suicide was a journey and the demon was so strong in their
head that every other option seemed pointless. People showed him love and
acceptance but there was just more it seemed he was looking that doesn’t exist.
Since yesterday, I have been on his timeline letting those tears flow. I have
been there and I know how we search into emptiness only to end up finding
nothing. I have asked God countless times to prove himself yet again to me and
guess what it seems I am greeted with? Silence! Why it is that way, I don’t
know! God knows! I have experienced God, in a greater way but it doesn’t happen
as fast as we want it. For Akachi, he stares into emptiness, hoping to find
something he can’t even describe but it is not there.
I am so sure Akachi has been seeking answers to the
essence of life, he has been looking for the source of happiness and the Bible
kind of joy makes no sense to him because it is not logical to say that God
gives joy even when things aren’t alright. He doesn’t understand the wisdom in
telling people “God cares” when it seems all that God does to the
Children He so loved is, keep silent from them! How do I know this? I was
studying Akachi right from his timeline and if we shared anything in common, I
crossed that path where he got stuck and so describing him seems like
describing where I escaped from.
Akachi feels betrayed by God and he makes it clear
that believing in Jesus was one of his worst decisions. There are people who
say Akachi is in hell, some of them aren’t trying to be mean, they are grieving
with the information they have. I have looked at this beyond what I had thought
earlier and I realized we all function on the information we have. When I was
little, one of the only reasons I cry for dead people was because “I don’t
know their fate. Only they know.” People who express their fear over the
choices Akachi made while he was living, do so because they know that the
“Christian salvation” is only received by faith in Jesus. Only God
can decide this for Akachi at the moment. Only God knows the condition of
Akachi’s heart which appears really dark on the surface with absolute
Blaming ourselves for people’s suicide makes it no
better because some of us are not even trained on either detecting depression
or handling it. This is a case of mental illness, some people have developed
bipolar over time and it isn’t something mere words and even attention could
handle. Akachi as our reference have struggled with coming to terms with
himself and people can only help with what they had. Some had religion, some
had motivations but these things had become undesirable for the young man. He
considered happiness so boring and considered sadness lovely. I learn he also
went for therapy but couldn’t even open up to the therapist. From his timeline,
I learnt he also lost faith in the entire process and decided to do it his own
way. He was more at peace with those who share the view of suicide being a way
of freedom than those who would try shoving their religious opinions down his
Akachi at some point was afraid to die and yet he was
afraid to live! With all of these things going on in his mind, with all the
answers he sought but never found and with the depth of love he desired that
existed nowhere else but in his mind, Akachi declared “Finit hic Deo”
which means “God ends here.” A line he borrowed from the movie
“THE NUN”. For him, God is dead, if there was ever God. Now, since
God is dead, he had to seek hope from somewhere else! Atheism wasn’t the answer
and even though atheism appears to be the quickest way to hide our fears of the
unknown, Akachi still felt there was more and in pursuit of this more, he kept
loosing himself. Certain things he was looking for I believe were merely just
answers he may find in life as he lives gradually and not in papers, opinions
or even in death.
To cut it all short! People cared but to some point,
he was done with it all. Although he was afraid to live or to die, he felt
death was a better option and a better way out of all this puzzle that we seem
to be living in. Whatever people have felt, it is how they should have felt and
people will always say what they feel is the truth. For some, Akachi has
escaped the misery of life and for others, Akachi has embraced the misery of
Certain people feel empathy, not because they are so
kind but because it is part of the human feeling. Even when Jesus was
crucified, one of those soldiers felt empathy towards Jesus. We learn every day
and we try to be more. Everyone needs love. Certain things trigger emotions…
It will trend for a while and it will pass. The best we can offer anyone around
is love and we will get better at it every day as we keep loving. And like you
rightly pointed out, we must always do a self-check to know when we are hurting
others but ultimately, we ought to find hope beyond what humans can offer
because the flaws of humanity are just there.
I am sorry it was this long but I feel more than this
and this is just how I pour it out!
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I enjoy solitude sometimes being an introvert with some kind of curiosity. I have gone through a lot of things and these days I don’t want to know that stuff that will make me feel I don’t need God anymore. I don’t want to know that stuff that will make me feel there are answers elsewhere except that which God has revealed.
As a writer, sometimes my thoughts try wandering beyond
this zone into a zone of deep mysteries. But I quickly step back else I make
mistakes. Sometimes, these answers we seek don’t exist and we die without
finding the answers! There are many books, groups and mysterious beings that
claim to have the answers we seek and we see ourselves looking at the
horoscopes, contacting mediums and doing all sort of things just to get
There were times I had searched and searched for
answers that it led me to a point of solitude where I see every other person as
abnormal for believing “crap!” When we continue walking that path, we
see ourselves even searching for answers from the “Big Bang Nonsense”
or from traditions founded on wickedness, black magic and mysticism.
I have read certain books and I have seen myself leave
my body, not in dreams but the moment I lay back and close my eyes! There were
days I was so scared to even close my eyes because it became common for me to
try breaking out of my body! You may call it hallucination but it was beyond
that, it was happening to me.
I have ordered for books from Eck headquarters in the
USA and they handed it over to me right at Onitsha, Nigeria! I have read deep
into the Quran, and I have followed so many conspiracy theories just because I
have a longing for answers! I have studied some paranormal and occultic books
by Lopsang Rampa which of course triggered the scary experience of trying to
leave my body! Sincerely speaking, it was never my desire to delve into certain
mysteries, I was only curious!
But guess what?
The more I searched, the more I see myself struggling
in futility to get an answer that doesn’t exist! The more this happens the more
I stay away to myself, the more I drain myself of strength and joy, the more I
feel we are just here on earth to waste our time and the more depression sets
Somehow, after all my failed searches, the consistent
thing I keep finding out from all of them is the superiority and simplicity of
God’s word as written in the Bible. I am no longer a Christian because I was
born into it, I would have professed atheism a long time ago. I had temporary
being an atheist at certain stages in my life while pretending to follow with
Christianity. There have been stages in my life I took God for granted and
consider those Bible stories as just another makeup by white men but then, the
Bible showed me the purpose for humanity and the character of God!
Personally, the answers I have been looking for, I
have seen them in God’s word. It has always been there while I was searching
but I may not have listened to hear God telling me “this is the
answer.” The New Testament has clearly connected the dots for me and the
Bible in its completeness have shown me PURPOSE. It is the lack of sense of
purpose and hopes that retracts us into the state of obscurity where we feel
life isn’t worth living. I don’t really want to sound intelligent anymore if
intelligence means denying Christ.
We never happened by accident.
We shouldn’t move by accident.
Our making was intentional and our living should be
intentional. This is no answer in religion and until we begin to trust our
creator and start looking at Him and His words for answers, we may always walk
that line of depression.
The universe is so much in order to have been an
accident! The earth rotates around the sun and round its own axis while the
moon rotates around the earth making the ecosystem life-friendly. There is a
super-intelligence behind the formation of this universe, it wouldn’t have been
an accident. Look at how we complement each other in gender making reproduction
possible. Do you think an accidental big bang would have made all of this
Have you seen life evolve into another kind? Did your
ancestors leave any documentation as regards to that? Truth is, when we seek
answers that don’t exist, we treasure lies and foolishness. Believing we
evolved from animals is messy because as long as this earth lives, we will not
witness that change.
Without faith, we may trust so much in ourselves and
still find no answers and then we stay depressed! This is how the devil comes
into our thoughts and start manipulating us, making us cherish darkness more
than we cherish the light! I have known God beyond religion and beyond books
and He is not that angry God you have always been made to believe. He doesn’t
even parade Himself with pride, He is down to earth seeking relationship and
It is the same way the devil got Adam and Eve that he
goes about getting others. Adam and Eve were made with every goodness of God!
They needed no extra answers but the devil came convincing them to seek a
knowledge that God didn’t want them to open up to! They sought that knowledge
and went farther from God. The same God that had always come to them for daily
gist appeared scary to them because they have been exposed to the wrong
I summarize with the words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 2:2 “For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.” which to me means “I have made up my mind to see life from the perspective God has presented it to me.”
God bless you.
~ George O.N
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ago, I wrote about suicide and why I didn’t go ahead with it! I didn’t go ahead
not because I didn’t want to but each delay was used by God to save me from it.
If I had a sniper handy, the story would have been different. I wanted a quick
way to die so that there won’t be any time to be hospitalized. On this date, I
got a heart wrecking news of a student at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka
communicates suicide while leaving his suicide note on his Facebook wall. You
will never understand what depression looks like if all things have gone so well with you.
As bad as it looks like an
option, never judge anyone who wasn’t strong enough to hold through, they made
a very poor decision but don’t judge them especially when you have not had any
experience of what depression is. I feel for that young man! I couldn’t hold
the tears, I understood it just the moment I set eyes on his profile! The
cringe of death on him was so loud and no one could talk him out of it! Sometimes, that person doesn’t
need your advice! If you can’t help them, keep your hypocritical advice to
yourself. After my experience, until today, I don’t talk down on anyone who
committed suicide as much as I wish they knew better.
Do you see
this life? It is a terrible thing to live without hope. I have seen Pastors
with result commit suicide too! This isn’t just about believing there is God
who sits on His throne in heaven. Everyone needs to be part of a very strong
community where love isn’t just in words but in actions. I believe lack of love
helps depression to thrive!. When love is lacking, people take the path of
solitude especially when certain realities have struck them and they begin to
think in an unorthodox manner! The moment we feel God has withdrawn from us or
the God we have always believed in has failed us, it heightens the level of
hopelessness and gives a louder voice to depression.
God has been reaching out to you from day one!
Sometimes, we just refuse to listen to Him and cling strongly to our own hurts.
We can’t magnify our hurts so much and hear God speaking. When the music is so
loud, we may never know when the phone rings. Don’t let your hurts speak louder
than your hope! One way we hurt our hopes so deeply is when we give up entirely
on God. There is always that time when we feel “God is just another
scam.” I don’t even know the best way to convince you but there isn’t any
more hope outside God.
They say that as long as there is life, there is hope
and this is very true! Even if it is a drop of life remaining, there is hope
because that life can spring forth again and sprout out many roots! We may not
understand the workings of God so well now, we may ask where He was when we
were going through all of the things we went through. I ask that question
sometimes too but I also know I have experienced God in the past. I may not
understand why He appears silent sometimes but I know He cares and isn’t
You cannot heal yourself of depression, no matter how
long you walk, you can’t walk your way out of depression. You still need God
and you still need other people. The man was not designed to function alone and
even when people aren’t thinking the same way we do, we can enjoy their
company! Diversity shouldn’t drive us away from each other, it should spice our
Sometimes, we stay in solitude trying to understand life but God designed us to do well in the community and never on our own. Please, no matter what… Don’t be extremely set apart all to yourself. Depression thrives in solitude and lack of love. It gets to the point we see the love and never even recognize it again.
Can you just turn down the volume of that rejection, hurts, failures and even confusions that you can’t understand? Can you increase the volume of hope? I know motivations become annoying when we walk deep into hopelessness but we can look at the testimony of others who have been there before!
Even if the Bible makes no sense to you now, you may take your time to read the story of Job! It got to a point where the only encouragement he got was to “curse God and die” (Job 2:9) but Job refused to increase the volume of hopelessness. He struggled hard with it though but he wrestled hard to ensure the voice of hopelessness doesn’t overpower the voice of hope.
Depression isn’t just a feeling! Depression is against your destiny and its mission is to alter what you exist for. Depression usually graduates to suicidal desires. But you must treat it like the devil, you’ve got to resist it knowing that you aren’t in this alone and others who are experiencing worst things are still living! The Bible says “Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” 1 Peter 5:9
You are not going through it alone, that is why you need to belong to a part of the community where you are encouraged by people who go through the same thing you go through. The Bible says you should resist that devil! Depression too isn’t without negative forces! Those voices you hear in your head isn’t normal. Whenever I see hyper-sensitive people, I feel for them and I love them with all my heart because I have been there and am gradually breaking the barriers of hypersensitiveness.
We take selfies, go to parties, laugh all over social media, write poems and stories and people think we are so much fine after all we are so gifted but the thing is that many people who appear happy are the most depressed folks looking for a way to cheer themselves up! Everybody needs love, not just spoken love but active love! It is not enough to try on our own to be happy and fulfilled, we need other people in our lives. The Bible continues in 1 Peter 5:10 “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” Denying God also denies Him access to our challenges.
There is no one quick fix for depression and I cannot even say my words can be of so much help but there is always a way out which you must be willing to walk on before you pass through it. Think again, suicide may seem like a juicy way of escape but as I wrote concerning Judas who gave up on himself and committed suicide, don’t end your story in that bad light! You are stronger than this and others may need your story to survive! Need someone to talk to? I am not a therapist but I can be your friend!
I call you “blessed”.
~ George O.N
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