SEVEN WAYS TO MANAGE YOUR ANGER


We all get to that point where we seem to have been caught off guard. Anger isn’t a new thing to virtually anyone, it is not something you are taught in school but a part of your makeup. Anger is very normal and to some extent very healthy and part of your emotions. Since anger belongs to you, it shouldn’t decide what you do, it should be under your own feet, you should be the one who controls how you express it. What you don’t control may turn around to control you and when anger begins to control you it becomes cancerous, it can damage you, your relationships and things that are very important to you. If you are looking for a way to manage your anger, it is probably because you are aware that anger isn’t giving you the best of what you want. Although you may be enticed to use what you have, you can also decide not to use it when it is not truly going to be helpful.

In today’s post, we aren’t going to be discouraging you from expressing anger because it can become a whole lot of bigger problems but we will give you helpful tips on how to manage your anger and express it in a very healthy way. Paul wrote in Ephesians 4:26

“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.”

It is okay to get angry, it is something God built in us to respond to threats and sometimes even help us find a solution to something. But it is wrong when we let anger take control of us, that is where sin comes into place. Sometimes people let anger take control by staying angry all day. It is a choice, you can decide to let anger take control of you or to take control of your anger. Here are some simple tips on how to manage your anger.

1. DON’T SPEAK BEFORE COGITATION

You are bound to say things you will regret in the future if you speak out of anger without thinking. Although when people’s actions stir up anger, we seem to want to act immediately, sagacity demands that we walk out of that situation for a time no matter what we are feeling and to think over it for another moment. Sometimes anger shapes our attitude and sometimes we see from a more helpful viewpoint after that anger is gone. When we decide to take a break and think, we are also offering other people involved with the corresponding opportunity to think before saying anything. The Bible rightly says in Proverbs 14:17 “People with a hot temper do foolish things; wiser people remain calm”

2. DON’T FEIGN PLEASURE

When you have really thought about it, express your anger in a controlled way. Don’t try wrapping up your anger in religious covers or because you want to appear more mature. The worst things to do about your anger is to hide it, don’t believe such half-baked truth that Christians can’t get angry. Anyone can be angry and God created those emotions in each and every one of us. Sometimes, anger serves a good purpose, it pushes us into taking actions concerning a situation that shouldn’t be there in the first place. If something makes you angry, then you’ve got something to deal with. Acknowledging your anger is truly a major way to start out with managing it because if we do not acknowledge it, we will not be able to manage it and it can graduate to rage, resentment not just towards a situation but towards other people. Hidden anger causes all manner of ailments including depression, disorders and even cancer! These things have been proven by various researches. The Bible says in Proverbs 14:30 A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body…”

3. DON’T OVER-SCRUTINIZE ISSUES

While it is okay to have a break and think about the actions you are about to take, you shouldn’t let your mind continue to journey back into that issue! You don’t have to keep examining and speculating over the wrongs meted out to you. In fact, the reason you have to think is that you want to take control of your anger and not because you want to give your anger rooms to truly express itself. The more you think about what they did and the punishment they deserve, you grow out of control. Truth is, you can control your thoughts as much as you can control your anger. This is why the Bible says in 2 Corinthians 10:5 that “we should bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.” How do we bring it to obey Christ? Jesus said we should love one another and therefore our thoughts about any issue should gear towards love.

4. YOU CAN ACTUALLY FORGIVE!

The easiest way I put my anger under check is to forgive my offender, whether they are there or they had gone out of sight. My decision to forgive isn’t usually because I feel like doing so but because I know this is the right thing to do. Sometimes, forgiveness has usually made me appear like a coward. While you have thought about the right actions to take, expressing your anger in a very less aggressive way and wedged yourself from overthinking about it, it is time to forgive him or her. The Bible says in Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” We can mitigate the emotional pain by truly forgiving people and doing it vocally. Sometimes it is also important to reach out to that person and say “I am truly very angry with you but right now I have chosen to forgive you.” It brings healing and peace to your heart and even when invalidating thoughts try popping up, your decision to forgive puts it under serious check. The Bible also says in Ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. You have the ability to forgive and you have the strength to control your anger.

5. LOOK BEYOND THE ISSUE

Many times, we often get angry with people not because what they did was even worth the anger but because we have other internal issues we are dealing with. Now that you have chosen to control your anger, it is also important that you look beyond the issue to know if the early nagging of your wife or bully from your husband is what gets on your nerves. You may also have to check if it is your poor income or the annoying character of your kids that pushes you to the wall and make you want to pour your anger on someone else. Perhaps, you just got off the phone with your partner and she just told you it is over and you are going crazy! You may not be able to fix those internal issues but you can admit to yourself that anger won’t fix it either. Decide to start putting a limit to how it affects you and your relationship with other people. Let nobody suffer the consequences of other people’s offence even if they are friends with those people.

6. AVOID GETTING INTO ISSUES

There are times it is inevitable, there are times we must speak up and stand up for something right but there are times we can avoid anger and things that lead to anger. When we discern that a decent debate is intensifying into a heated quarrel, we should withdraw. When we suddenly discover that something is bothering someone so much that he or she reacts to other things angrily, we can control how we communicate with them. We know those issues that could probably get us angry and therefore we can avoid getting into them. It is better to give up on an argument and be called a coward than try to win and eventually get yourself angry even when you are saying the right thing. Don’t be too quick to force a truth down people’s throat, if they don’t believe you, they may believe someone else later. Only a patient teacher can teach slow learners and only patient teachers are great teachers!  The Bible says in 2 Timothy 2:23-25 But keep away from foolish and ignorant arguments; you know that they end up in quarrels. As the Lord’s servant, you must not quarrel. You must be kind toward all, a good and patient teacher, who is gentle as you correct your opponents, for it may be that God will give them the opportunity to repent and come to know the truth.”

7. CHANNEL YOUR ENERGY RIGHTLY

Finally, there are other things you can use your energy for rather than let it turn into stress! You have good energy and the same energy can become negative or positive. When you are angry, instead of rage and fume, find something else to do! You could enter the kitchen and go make some popcorn, you could decide to take a walk, read a funny book, watch a movie or even play around with your kids! If you have video games, you could get your hands on it. For people like me, you could even write your best seller when your emotions are boiling. Stress and depression would happen when you don’t release that anger-energy through other means. When I am not writing, I have some friends I know I could hang out with and forget I ever got angry. The moment you have released these energies, you may even still want to stay angry and discover you can’t because the energy for that has been released. If you got angry or you sensed you are getting angry during the day, put hands off that job and take a walk to the ice cream shop.

“Ice cream tastes better than anger, why not choose ice cream over anger? I prefer vanilla flavour or farm-fresh yoghurt alternative!”

– George Onyedikachukwu Nnadozie, 7 Ways to manage your anger

When it becomes a whole lot of challenge to control your anger, you may want to seek a professional help towards managing your anger. If you realize that you experience sudden episodes of impulsive, aggressive, violent behaviour or angry verbal outbursts that result to reactions that are negatively gross, it may be a sign of explosive disorder and you should seek help!

God bless you.

~ George O.N

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6 THINGS EVERY CUSTOMER WANTS


6 Things every customer wants

Life in its entirety is business. Whether it is about a relationship, academics, buying and selling and so on, you must see it from a business perspective. In everything you do, you have to put into consideration what you are investing and what is expected of your investment. Do not let life happen to you by chance, be deliberate with how you live. Whether it is money, resources or time that you are investing in something, always consider what will come out of it. Always remember to see everyone around you as customers and treat them right. Whether it is your family, your partner, your friend or your clients, there is something they want from you and if you understand what they want, you can have their loyalty. Let’s look at what they want from you.

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE TO READ: 10 WAYS TO HAVE LOYAL CUSTOMERS

1. RELIABILITY – To be reliable means to be able to say something and do it just the way you said it. You shouldn’t make promises you have no means of fulfilling neither should you make a list of services you aren’t offering. You are not a jack of all trade and even if you are, be master of one! Let your customers be dependable on you! If what you are offering is Pizza, let them know you with Pizza and let that Pizza be at its best!

2. QUALITY SERVICE – Nobody wants to be disappointed especially when they have offered something in exchange for their expectation. Nobody will be happy receiving a service that doesn’t have value for what they paid for. Ensure that what you are offering is the best and never compromise here. Quality services will not just help you beat the competition, it makes your customers accept and trust you. Quality service isn’t just about offering quality products; it is also about offering quality products with quality manner, approach and very special treatment. You don’t have to shout at customers, treat them partially or treat people casually just because you are tired. Your customers are the reason why you are doing business and therefore you must accord them with that privilege.

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE TO READ: 10 WAYS TO HAVE LOYAL CUSTOMERS

3. SHARE RESPONSIBILITY – Customers are not always right but you don’t have to say that to their face. Everyone makes mistakes and sometimes customers can make wrong choices too. When a customer subscribes to a service or purchase a product but calls back to say they made a mistake with their choice and would want to change, don’t just act as though it is all their responsibility and not your concern. Show deep concerns for them and inform them of the options available which may mean adding a little money to get what they want or just a straight return and collection of what they want if you have nothing to lose. This tells them how much concern you have for them and they will appreciate you with their loyalty.

4. RESPONSIVENESS – When you render a service or sell a product to your customer, don’t just leave them at that point. Ensure you call for feedback on how the product is serving them and try to take note of their complaints with apologies where necessary. You can also follow up a customer to ensure he or she is using the product as supposed for maximum effect. You have to keep your lines open and be quick to respond to customer’s emails and messages. There are lots of firms who don’t take emails serious, they take weeks to respond to customers emails and they tend to lose their customers. I remember searching for a product online; I got to a website that had just what I needed. I called the line on the website and the person that picked was in a noisy place and would not hear me. He hung up and never called back! He lost me anyway.

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE TO READ: 10 WAYS TO HAVE LOYAL CUSTOMERS

5. EMPATHY – Serving people don’t mean you are doing them a favour, your customers are the ones doing you a favour and therefore you must not treat them like trash. You have to put them in your shoes and always consider if you would love how you treat them or if you would treat yourself how you treat them if you were to be going through what they are going through. Sometimes, you have to put profits behind and help your customers just to gain them. Sometimes, a customer may truly need products on credit and while you should be very careful on this, you’ve got to really put some people into consideration depending on the kind of people you are serving. Sometimes, consider giving discounts and doing giveaways for certain kinds of people.

6. COMPETENCE – You may know what you are doing but never employ someone who is ignorant. Nobody likes to be the victim of incompetence and just a little of it can put you out of business. Ensure you know your craft so well and ensure you keep improving on it. If you don’t have the resources to sponsor your staff for training, you could organize local and in-house training for your staff. I remember some years ago, I lost my phone and needed to retrieve my line and when I went to the telecommunication office, the young lady who attended to me treated me with so much respect, so much attention and with a good sense of humour. We were like friends at that spot and I had a smooth service. After that time, any day I would have a need to go to the telecommunication office, it was her I always preferred and if she isn’t around, I would leave and come back later. When you are competent or you have competent staff, customers will always come back for that reason.

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE TO READ: 10 WAYS TO HAVE LOYAL CUSTOMERS

I believe this 6 list has helped you greatly! Do you think there is more? Do you have anything to say? Please let’s read from you! Use the comment section.

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10 WAYS TO HAVE LOYAL CUSTOMERS


10 WAYS TO HAVE LOYAL CUSTOMERS

A customer is anyone you have a deal with, whether your reader, your product consumer, a subscriber to your ideas and so on. If you are a speaker, preacher or even a Pastor, your followers and people who listen to you can also be considered as customers because they are consuming whatever it is you are giving out to them. On another level, everyone you meet is a potential customer and you have to treat them as such. You don’t have to own personal business to understand the importance of building a customer-friendly environment and relationship because while people may get attracted to you, there must be something that should keep them loyal to you else you lose them. To think people should be unconditionally loyal to you without any efforts on your own side is self-deceit! That you are a Pastor doesn’t mean people should just trust you overnight, you must ensure that you build it or you don’t blame anyone who has refused to or stopped trusting you. I will be telling us some things we need to know about building a better customer relationship.

A closer study of the operations of Jesus reveals He is customer-service oriented. Jesus gave a listening ear to everyone and even allowed the children to come to Him when it seemed they wouldn’t offer anything at that moment. Truth is, anyone you ignore today may be a potentially big customer to you tomorrow. These points don’t just apply to businesses, it also applies to other relationships even though it had been written with business in mind.

adult book business cactus

 

  1. BE INTENTIONAL

Customers will not just start coming to you just because you exist. You must be intentional in attracting and serving your customers. This means your brandings, your approach and your carriage has to flow with your intentions. You don’t need a logo for the sake of having a logo, you don’t need to have a website just because you feel like having a website, you don’t need to run ads just because you see others running ads! You need to sit down and think! Know what you need to do and why you need to do it. If you are creating a logo, there should be a reason for that and there should be a goal you want to score with it. As a content and graphics designer, I have come across clients who want a logo but don’t even know why they want it. When I ask them the philosophies behind their brand they don’t know and they don’t have any idea what they want. I have also come across clients who want a website but they don’t have contents and don’t even know the need for a content creator. They just want to create a website and blogs because they saw others doing it but they end up without using those things because they aren’t intentional about it. Generally speaking, if you are out to serve a certain audience, your intentions should wrap around attracting them, serving them and retaining them.

two person shaking each others hands

  1. BUILD TRUST | IMPROVE

Trust doesn’t just happen, it is not built overnight! People will not suddenly trust you because you have a good storefront but they can be attracted by it and can even decide to try you out! It is in the process of trying you out that they begin to see reasons to either trust you or never come back. When people patronize you, they aren’t doing that because they trust you, they are simply taking a risk to know if you could serve them better and if you do, they will come back the next time. You can build trust by making your purpose clear and by sticking to that purpose. Tell people what you offer and offer them what you said you can offer the best way it should be offered. You aren’t the only one doing the business you are doing, they passed so many other service providers to get to you and therefore you must count it as a privilege that they chose you among many. When you give quality services to your clients, you are building up their trust in you. Don’t just give them the best you know how to give, also seek more knowledge! Today, there are lots of information out there that you can grab freely or pay some money to have them. You can make researches on how to improve your products just because you want to serve your customers well. By developing better and better every day, your customers are trusting you more knowing that you desire to serve them better.

businesswomen businesswoman interview meeting

  1. LEARN FROM YOUR CUSTOMERS

That your customers have chosen your service doesn’t mean they cannot do it themselves. Some come to you for the sake of convenience. You may be very good in frying potatoes with great butter-like taste, you may even have your own recipes that no one knows about but sometimes you do not have the time to make them yourself and you’ve got to visit a restaurant to buy them and eat! In the same way, people come for your service because they have other things they are doing and therefore they may even know better than you. This is why it is important to collect feedbacks, pay attention to it and learn from it. Sometimes your customers are more familiar with your products than you because they use it better than you. I remember going to a phone shop some years ago, the seller thought a certain phone was having issues and she wanted to sell it at a low price. I took the phone from her and made some settings on it and the phone started working perfectly fine! She said “well, I sell phones. It doesn’t mean I know the advanced settings of phones.” Knowing the specifications of something doesn’t mean you know everything about it! Be humble enough to listen to your customers’ criticism, take notes of them and start learning how to be better from them.

man holding white teacup in front of gray laptop

  1. BE STYLISH

Whether you admit it or not, we aren’t in the olden days anymore and things are fast changing. When I moved to my new location, I was looking for where to cut my hair which I had usually done in Black & While at Onitsha Mall. I live very far from the city Mall and would need a place closer to me. A bike man volunteered to show me a place and he tried convincing me that they are skilful! When we got there the Barbers weren’t looking neat, they look tattered to me and I couldn’t even stand the environment regardless of their skills. I had to walk out immediately until I saw a place that looked better although not to my taste yet. You may have a very nice product but without style, you will have a very limited audience and you may even lose potential customers. People may seem to have no choice today but when something more stylish comes up tomorrow, they will leave you! No matter how unimportant you think it is, people want styles. It is style that attracts most people and it is with the quality of your service that you keep them. Communicate your brand and serve them with style. Being stylish means being modern, creative, neat and sophisticated.

two people talking

  1. BE ATTENTIVE TO CUSTOMERS’ NEED

Your customers are like children, they are very demanding and will not stop making demands. But you can always convert their demands to your own benefit when you understand that a customer’s demand is an avenue to introduce a new product and sell. If you realize that your customers are always making a demand for a certain product you don’t sell, you can quickly add that product to your stock and start selling. I know a tailor who also sells call credit cards because whenever her customers come around they always want to make calls! I also know a salon that sells cold drinks because their customers would always want to drink something cold while they wait for their turn. You can only leverage on their demands when you pay attention to their needs. It will also help you improve your services. For instance, a customer may make an unserious remark like “why I like coming here is because the air-conditioner works so well in here, so I can relax a while.” It may not sound serious but it is important, it will help you ensure that the air-conditioner continues working. I stopped going to the market for certain things since I could get them at a same or even lesser price at the malls because the malls have conducive environments and I wouldn’t have to spend time bargaining to avoid been cheated. There are little things you will do that will make your customers love you but you may never know these things until you start paying attention to your customers.

photo of man looking in his watch

  1. DON’T JUDGE CUSTOMERS’ IMPATIENCE

Impatience isn’t a nice virtue, that is so true when we start handling moral classes but like the popular saying goes, “customers are always right.” See their impatience as their rights too and stop judging them for it. People get busier every day and everyone is in a rush to jump into the next activity. When you notice your customers are impatient, it may be an indication that you are slow or an indication that you need to increase in speed. Increase your speed of service to meet up with their impatience. These days nobody wants to join the queue so you must devise means to avoid long waiting. Many people will give up on your service if they have to wait for a long time to be served especially when they have an alternative. When you don’t pay attention to these things, the next competitor is using your weakness to improve and is diverting your customers.

photo of a woman holding shopping bags

  1. TREAT EVERYONE AS VIP

Treat every of your customer as VIP. This doesn’t mean giving your basic subscribers premium packages but it means serving your basic subscribers just the same way you serve your premium subscribers. No matter the amount of transaction one is making, give them equal attention. Don’t serve another person better just because they make bigger purchases. If you would smile at the politician, also smile at that layman who came to patronize you. Everybody knocks on your door and no matter how desperate or choiceless they appear, treat them like they have better options. Don’t treat certain gender with value and treat the other with disrespect. Don’t respect the opinions of your male customers and ignore the opinions of your female customers. Don’t give your female customers winks and sigh at your male customers! There is a great value in treating people well no matter how much you don’t like them. As much as treating them well helps retain them, they will also treat you well the day you enter their own offices.

action adult bike biker

  1. BE PROMPT IN DELIVERY

Starting out some areas of my career, I made great mistakes of trying to hold customers by promising them to deliver very early and not then fulfilling those promises. As a printer, I understood the term “printers devil” by experience but I always ignored those facts and give my clients “impossible delivery dates” just to gain their loyalty but at the end of the day, the impression machine would get faulty, the DI machine would develop issues, the jobs ahead of mine on the machine would be much and I fail to meet up. This affected me so much and affected my customers’ trust in me. Another thing that affected me was being afraid to say the real cost of a service, sometimes I would give customers the least price but end up not delivering because the prices I gave them couldn’t do the job. You don’t have to give customers delivery dates that aren’t possible, you also don’t have to be sympathetic with giving your customers the actual cost of a service. If they can’t afford it or wait, then they can go elsewhere but truth is that they will always come back because you were sincere with them. To deliver promptly means to deliver when you promised. Don’t delay people unnecessarily, fast track every job and ensure you always meet the deadline. Customers will always come back when you meet the deadline.

man cutting another man s hair

  1. BE PROFESSIONAL

To be professional means to be efficient! You can’t win your customers’ heart by playing like an amateur. Personalize how you treat everyone but never ever joke around! When you are professional in your dealing with your customers, they will trust you better knowing that you are serious with what you are doing. Professionalism includes being transparent! Both in the way you dress, talk and work, express that professionalism!

two men fist bumps

  1. BE LOYAL

Loyalty is mutual. As much as you want loyal customers, be loyal to your customers too. This is one mistake so many leaders make, they want loyal followers but they are not loyal to their followers. Your customers are the reason your business is running, be accountable to them and make sure there are no hidden agenda and charges. Be supportive to your customers before, during and after you have rendered the service they paid for. Sometimes they may need technical support, sometimes they may need direction on how to use what you sold to them other than what was explained and you have to give them that support as though your payment depends on it.

 

There are so many other points but I believe the ones listed here will go a long way to help you! It is God’s desire that you do well in your career but your actions have to align with His desires before you can make progress in the way He wants you to.

 

Let’s get your feedback and questions from the comment section.

~ George O.N

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DOWNLOAD NOW | HOW TO MANIFEST THE ANOINTING



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What differentiates two believers in their manifestations of the anointing is knowledge and their level of growth in faith but they both have access to same anointing! Sometimes the issues of life seem to put our faith down, sometimes we stand in the valleys of shadows of death and we trip off because we do not know that the Lord is right there with us but this exactly is where we are supposed to manifest the anointing! This teaching contains the Biblical way in which you can express the anointing already available in you. 

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