DISCOVERING THE HEADSHIP OF MAN IN THE FAMILY


Welcome to the age where men are fighting for relevance, where they have to suppress their wives and children to get what they suppose is respect. Sometimes, fighting for something simply indicates that we either do not have it, that we aren’t worth it or that we have lost it! If a man still has his headship intact, he may not have to fight for it, he would just have to act on it! If a man hadn’t lost his headship, is there any need fighting for it? Sometimes again, people fight for what they have because they don’t even know they have it or because they can’t even operate it and identify what they have from the results it yields.

Until men concede to the true essence of “headship”, until they humble themselves and take up the cloak of service, they will continue fighting for relevance, seeking for respect and yet never get restored into the seat of “headship”. Efficient leadership is found in the place of effective co-operation. You don’t fight for it, you don’t blow the trumpet for it! You simply walk into it within the doors of service. This service begins with love and gets achieved with love. Leadership cannot be proven by manipulated submission, it is proven by willing followership.

Before we look into some things that the Bible said concerning the man in his family, we are very much aware that if we want to understand the true way God designed men to serve his own body by the reason of the woman becoming one with him and the children being the products of that union, we must look at how Jesus served and serves the Church as His own body! Jesus said in Mark 10:45

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Jesus who is our Lord, the King of Kings and the saviour of the world never came seeking for people to serve Him! He came with service in His hands, He came offering service to anyone willing to receive. Yet, it is His service that got us all running to Him! You see the sick, the sinners, the rejected and even Children running up to Him because He serves, He wasn’t forcing submission on anyone as the religious leader would do, He was rather giving out Himself to people and these people, in turn, were bowing willingly to Him!

No wonder the women followed Jesus so well! They look at Jesus and they see the definition of the perfect man! They couldn’t see this kind of man in the religious leaders of that time, they couldn’t see it in the common men because the demands were heavy on them to always submit. It was a forceful submission to men and the ills of the society. A woman was caught in adultery, they passed judgment on her and almost stoned her in condemnation while the man was not even brought to the public but shielded! The same happens in our societies today, women are condemned if they ever cheat on their husbands while men are absolved by the society. Well, Jesus treated everyone the same! In Matthew 9:3, Jesus told a paralytic man that his sins are forgiven and in Luke 7:48, Jesus also told a sinful woman that her sins were forgiven. Jesus sees differently and if men must discover the place of headship, they have to learn of Christ.

We see something amazing about Jesus, He is aware that He is the Lord and the master, He is aware of His authority but the awareness of His authority only got Him into serving those that were supposed to serve Him. It was absurd when He bent low to wash the feet of His disciples, it wasn’t a ritual, it wasn’t a kind of ceremony, it was an example that He had set for every leader called by His name to follow. Jesus redefined leadership, He brought God’s meaning of leadership and in Him, we discovered that leadership simply means “serving others.” In John 13:13-15, as the disciples wondered why He would stoop low to wash their feet which is the work of the least of servants, He said to them

“You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.”

Jesus needed to set the record straight. By His actions, He was shouting on top of His voice “leaders are servants! Lords and teachers are feet washers! If you truly identify yourself as the head, you must bend low to serve. The head serves the body.” Have you ever studied the body? What is the duty of the head? The head serves the body in several ways until the body becomes strong enough to give back to the head. Before you started feeding yourself, your mother would bring your head closer to her breast and let you suck her milk. It is by this nourishment that you became stronger to the point of being able to feed yourself through the same head that had started serving you! It is with the same hand that had become strong that you wash your head, do your makeups and make the head attractive! In the same manner, Jesus showed us that the headship of man is greatly displayed in service to his body and turn, the body gives back to the man.

The reason many men don’t enjoy respect today is that they were fighting for it, they were mounting pressures for it and they never worked for it! You can’t earn what you don’t work for. Many times, we are forcing women into the position of headship by forcing them to serve! The leader is the one who initiates service, he is the model of service. Why leave women to train the children while you just make money and pay school fees? Haven’t you asked why many children grow up following their mothers? This is because it was the mother that they recognized her services, they are giving back to the leadership they felt and could relate with.

Why do we have to look up to Jesus to see what exactly leadership is in the family? First, Jesus and the Church is the reality of God’s design for the family (Revelations 19:7). Secondly, the Bible instructs us to learn from Jesus (Matthew 11:29) and thirdly, the Bible instructs men to love their wives just like Jesus loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25), the man must act towards his wife and family as Jesus acted towards the Church. However, there are still more that we can get from the Bible and if men can heed to this, they will explore the place of headship!

The submission of the wife to the man is by influence. The man influences his wife through his service; a pleasant display of love and true leadership. Someone would respond to you and even bow before you not because they respect you in their heart but because you have a gun and would shoot them if they disobey. Jesus didn’t come forcing Himself to us, He came saying “come unto me, I have the rest you seek.” This is the manner with which men should express headship. The authority of the man isn’t that of a dictator, the Biblical-leadership of the husband is expressed with Godly virtues. The Bible says in Colossians 3:19

“Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.”

I like the sound of that word “never!” The duty of the husband springs with love as Jesus loves the Church. The Bible also instructs that there isn’t any account on which the husband should be harsh to his wife. God’s desire in giving a woman to a man isn’t to get a new servant for the man but to allow the man to raise and model a Godly family! The woman is also a child of God, with the advantage of helping the man in his areas of weakness and the tasks given to him by God. This isn’t the sole reason women were created.

My previous articles have explained that beyond marriage, women also have the calling and blessing to subdue the earth and lead in society. In marriage, the woman possesses a strength that can help the man. God never graded the women as a second-place or an afterthought and this is why men are wired to care for them, not as though they are weak but because they are treasures that need protection. What will you do to the store of your treasures? Will you invest in security to keep it secure or will you leave it to the mercies of chances? Husbands influence submission by protecting and caring for their wives! There is no place of commanding the wife or pressurizing her into something. You influence her by your love, provision and utmost care! This is how a man initiates leadership. The Bible says in this regard in 1 Timothy 5:8

“But if any do not take care of their relatives, especially the members of their own family, they have denied the faith and are worse than an unbeliever.”

The husband sets an example of care and provision! Yes, the virtuous woman also provides, she is also engaged with several businesses and in the same vein don’t ignore her family and husband but the man sets an example of service and the woman also responds to this love wholeheartedly.

God never gave you a wife to use her as a punching bag! God never gave you a woman to experiment with your power and physical strength, she was given for companionship, to humble you and to help you become the best of you! It is wrong when you attribute leadership to your quest for power! Your physical strength is given to you to use and protect your wife and your children. It doesn’t make you superior, it simply brings uniqueness to your role as a husband. The Bible says in 1 Peter 3:7

“In the same way, you husbands must give honour to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.”

Wives aren’t to be treated as afterthoughts but with honour and understanding! This is one great way to discover and take your place as the head or leader in the family. Regardless of the physical strength of a woman, she is not inferior and should be treated as your partner! Sometimes men hinder their progress as “husbands” by the way they treat their wives. You need to also come to that place of submission, that place of accountability and that place of honour for your wife. The strength of the man was ever designed to be lord over a woman, the man should rather use that strength to care and love a woman. She will willingly follow as her followership is a gift for your awesome display of leadership.

Have you noticed that God designed both male and female in such a way that they would complement? Where the man is weak, the woman is usually strong and where the woman is weak, the man is usually strong! Technically, no one is truly stronger if we put all of this into consideration. We will always find the answer when we go back and look at the creation story. God brought the woman to the man because the man needed a companion and a helpmeet. The best of this woman can only be gotten in teamwork. When the recognizes and take his place as a leader in the place of true service, love and respect for the woman, he will build a successful home!

One way to dismantle spiritual order in homes is to fight for authority as a man. The kind of authority God wants the man to have isn’t that gotten through dictatorship, through pressure or even through emotional blackmail. It is the authority gotten through service and love for what God has committed to his care. When we serve, we win those who we serve and they gladly follow. A wife will always give back to the service of the man and this way the husband takes his place of ‘headship’ to raise a Godly-family.

God bless you.

~ George O.N

A true story of myself
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KINGS HANGOUT 2017


WHY KINGS HANGOUT?

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FOR MALE & FEMALE!!!

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Kings Hangout 2017 is a special event for both male & female but with a motive of changing the narrative of the male folks. We want the women to understand who the man is and also make the men understand who they are. Kings Hangout is also designed to bring out Kingship in everyone.

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Sometimes men battle with their sexuality because of so many misconceptions that have lasted for centuries and it has affected how the women relate with the man. It is a man who don’t understand who he is that fights to be respected and submitted to… Some men find it difficult to really say what should be very important and priority to them. When a man understands his sexuality and why he was made to be so, he will stop fighting for respect and start fulfilling purpose… Respect naturally comes to a man who is busy with what he should be doing.

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Why do some married men spend all their extra time in the beer parlor instead of being home with their families? Why do women think they should settle with every kind of man because to them “all men are the same”.

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Why do some single men find it very difficult to really decide about a woman and stand on their decision? Why do women think most men can’t be trusted in a relationship?

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Why are men branded as polygamous in nature? Can’t a man be faithful? Why do fathers assume they don’t have time to train their children because they feel they are so busy with work? 

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Do you think these things are not battles? A man who understands his sexuality will obviously avoid so many mistakes and be a better leader in the society. A woman who understands the male folks relates better with them and stand out!

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We have packaged Kings Hangout for our men & women with a motive of changing the narrative! This particular event is open to everyone including ladies who love the men! Some features of this event includes

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THE SPIRIT LED MAN

THE KING AND HIS QUEEN

THE MAN AND HIS CAREER

LAUGH LIKE A KING 

THE FAMILY MAN

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Our Resource persons and partners includes:

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Pastor Patrick Favour

He is the lead pastor of Purity Hills Church, a father and husband.

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Pastor Elochukwu Udegbunam 

He is the senior Pastor of The Lord’s Brethren Nation and the President of Believers School of Faith. 

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Pastor Victor Daniel

He is the Lead Pastor of Love City Church, Nsugbe and the CEO of Eatmore Foods.

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Pastor Miracle Okoye

He is a Pastor and the President of Winners Campus Fellowship, COOU, Igbariam Campus

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MC IzzyLyt

He is a saxophonist, a comedian and a spirit filled believer!

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Are you really going to miss this?
It is free to attend…

To register, send ‘register me + name’ to 08030688325
Date: 11th Nov. 2017

Time: 10am

Location: Purity Hills Church, Obelagu Street Onitsha

#HouseOfVasileia

​THE INCREDIBLE HUSBAND & WIFE



One of the greatest duty a wife owe her husband is to understand him and give him the full support he needs. In one of Paul’s writings, he admonished the Romans to respect authority because they were appointed by God to be leaders (Romans 13). While talking about leadership, I don’t hesitate reminding leaders that Jesus have laid down examples of what leadership is… I do this because many ignorant people can capitalise on the word “leadership” to become bossy and treat people under them as though they have no right. Jesus watched the feet of His disciples (John 13:1-17), He clearly showcased His love for the Church (us). Leaders are not rulers, they serve!

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Having said that, a woman must understand that her husband is her leader, she owe him maximum support and understanding! From the manifestation of the woman in Genesis, she was given a role, to help her husband (Genesis 2:18). Every husband is helpless without the support of his wife. Just like we are to obey the government because they are our leaders, wives should obey their husband and support them. 

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“Wife” isn’t a status or a label! It is an office, an exalted office at that! A wife has been called into the office of helping and supporting the leader of the house who is definitely her husband! This means, if the man isn’t getting somethings right, she tames him with her support and find ways to help him! If he isn’t doing so well in business, she supports​ him with her earnings too! He may find it difficult footing bills all alone, she can start working and start making her own contributions! Understanding is key in taking control of your husband! Proverbs 31 explains what a good wife is like! Getting married to a man isn’t a platform to eat and rest! It is a place of assignment!

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Like earlier noted, the leadership of the man in the family doesn’t mean he should be bossy and dominating! No! That is the terrible situation many wives have found themselves in! It is anti-moral for a man to be domineering. The husband provides leadership by caring and cherishing his wife and not by giving orders! Wives are meant to be taken care of as they provide support to their husbands! When a woman starts playing all the role in the family, the man has failed as regards his office as a husband! The Bible says that the husband provides leadership the same way Christ provides to the Church! Not the way the world does! The big question now is, how does Christ provide leadership to us?

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He loves us even in our shortcomings. (Romans 5:8)

He keeps interceding for us even when we don’t know we have sinned. (1 John 2:1)

He watched the feet of His disciples and asked them to lead in this manner. (John 13:14-15)

He cares so much about us that he laid down His life for us. (John 5:13)

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The feet in the ancient times is the dirtiest part of the human body because people travel on foot and dusts can build up everywhere! Washing of the feet was the most humble thing anyone can do! But we saw Jesus washing the feet of His disciples and asking us to also do this as leaders! A husband must learn to watch the feet of his wife! This means that no matter the mess, the man has been empowered to clean them! We’re in a world where women are forced to clean mess while the men relax! When you show so much love to your wife, she will also be ready to wipe your feet with her hair! Women knows how to do more! Jesus showed so much love to the rejected women and no wonder one came pouring her tears on his feet, wiping those feets with her hair and anointing them with the most expensive perfumed oil! When you show your wife love and servant-leadership, she will definitely be more submissive! When you wipe her feet with your towel, she will wipe yours with her hair and pour all her savings on you!

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Few years back my Dad had serious business challenges. All his goods got destroyed and for six years he was doing nothing! I could remember how it all went! He planned that I was going to study at Tel Aviv in Israel, it was a big plan! He had already started processing documents for us and we all thought it was going to be smooth and sweet! I remember the day he had news came, we left house in the morning with smile! He told mum he was going to buy her a brand new car and we were all celebrating it! We were also among the first people who pay school fees at Winners International School back then!

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At a point, he became a driver who earns six thousand naira every month! I and my elder brother came out of secondary school with no hope of furthering into the university! It was very terrible as we lived in serious poverty! A man who was building a house, who had his own car suddenly became poor overnight and at it’s worst he became a driver who drives a principal to school every morning. I could watch his struggles and she’d tears… I watched my mother’s healthy skin grow weary and people kept making fun of us! The landlord came to our house and took away every of our valuables because we couldn’t pay house rent. I stayed at home and people who got admitted into secondary school while I was graduating also graduated!

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The story continued this way but Mom knew it wasn’t going to end like that! She kept supporting him with encouragements and all that! She was also saving! You can’t believe it, she was able to save up some money (she was a house wife) from the money she got from him and some family friends and she gave him those money to start up again. I told you it was six years of trials right? Yes! Today, Dad has a car, the house is nearing its completion and he is talking about building another house! This was possible because mum supported him! Those challenges also built me  a into becoming independent! This is the secret of every successful family! It is not only the woman that owe respect to the man, the man also owe respect to the woman! Respect is for one another!

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Men must learn to do away with their ego and love their wives genuinely! When you love her, she can do anything for you! This is God’s desire for every home! Thinking if this is in the Bible? Let’s summarise with this portion of the scriptures

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“Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.” – Ephesians 5:21‭-‬28 MSG

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God bless you

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#GracefulGeorge

STAND BY HER 



Dear Men, 

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You’re special and you must understand it about yourself. Men who are ignorant of who they are go about looking for one girl to have fun with after another, they feel that is what proves their smartness. It is not true.

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I stumbled into a post that read “if virginity is part of woman’s pride, what is the pride of the man?” And someone said “the pride of the man is to break a woman’s virginity”. It gave me a picture immediately. While I am not of the view that women who have lost their virginity have no pride or that the hymn is the pride of the woman, I would love to communicate something very important. From the picture painted in the Facebook scenario, I discovered that foolish men feels they are being man enough by jumping from one girl to another and whenever they succeed in deceiving a woman they feel they’ve done something great… That is what some of them feel is their pride. They think their pride means stealing the so-called pride of a woman.

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Real men are men who understands the woman. Follow me… God designed men to chase after women because they are treasures and God designed women to be good listeners because they are supposed to be helpers… A good helper is always a good listener because they want to be attentive enough to know the areas that needs their help.

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Have you wondered why a woman would want her husband to tell her everything that happened in the day? Do you know why a woman enjoys stories so much especially from her husband or loved one? It is because she is designed to respond to needs, to listen and find areas where she can help. However, the devil uses these qualities of each gender against one another. I will tell you how…

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When an uncultured man sees a woman, he chases after her and when he talks to the woman, she digests what she hears even when she pretends like she isn’t listening. Sometimes, she may begin to think that the sweet tongued “uncultured man” really needs her in his life and she succumbs to him. Not because she is cheap but because she feels she is needed. She may be pressured to act out of place especially when she have not experienced the transformation of Christ.

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Have you wondered why the devil didn’t come to tempt man in Eden? Because might not be not be patient enough to listen to him and so he had to come through the woman. Anytime you want to get a man, come through a woman he loves and you’re likely to get all of him. 

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Having understood this, we must realise that as men we have a role to play. The women needs our voice and strong support. God created the women to help their men but God made it in a way that woman must be supported by the man for her to carry out her activities so well. Women can be independent, they can be whatever they want to be in life when it comes to the social world… But when it comes down to their emotions, the woman needs a shoulder to lean on. You may not understand this. This is why many women mistakenly fall into the arms of hungry lions… they need a shoulder to lean on but the lion simply needs a meat to devour.

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What is the pride of a man? It is the total woman! It is not her sexual organs but the woman in total! The total woman is worthy, the woman who doesn’t understand who she is becomes disgraceful. The bible says “A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones” (Proverbs 12:4 NLT). 

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A real man is not that man that delights in jumping into any woman he comes in contact with. On social media I saw a young boy bragging that he have had sex with about five of his Facebook female friends and his likes were praising him. Such a man won’t even recognise his pride when he eventually get married because he have not recognised who he is supposed to be. When you don’t know who you are, is it your pride that you’ll know?

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We have had cases of a man beating his wife or girlfriend to death! They may think that is the meaning of being a man but it is not true. The real man is a responsible man, he understands that the woman isn’t a weaker vessel but he treats her like one because he knows she is a treasure. How do you treat your most treasured car? You make sure people don’t scratch it… it is strong but you pamper it like an egg.

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Men must rise up to stand behind the women, to speak against cultures and traditions that places women in limits. We have so many cultures that limit the women so much from becoming who they should be and it is time men rise to stand by the women. It begins from the home. The boys shouldn’t be trained to see themselves as the superior. Sometimes I see parents teach their daughters to respect the boys who may probably be her junior and they claim they are training her to be fit for her husband. While it may sound like true, I have a problem with that concept. Children should be trained to respect one another and see themselves as special and not train one to feel superior to another.

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Boys should be trained to get familiar with the kitchen too and girls should be trained to understand that career doesn’t live in the kitchen and bedroom. 

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Men have left the role of training the children to the cares of the mothers but this is not how God designed it. In the Bible the men was involved in the training their children. Solomon received training from his father and he knew what was right to ask God in prayers. Only David could have taught him that. When parents train their children together, the children will learn to work together regardless of gender.

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Man, you need to love the woman. Don’t see the woman as a sex toy, something that seems precious to you for few moment and then useless for the rest of the day. Don’t see the woman as someone who needs support because she’s weak… She’s not! See her as someone who needs your support in order to help you become the best of you. The reason you need to bring out the gold in your woman is because her gold will make you rich. You aren’t bringing out her gold because she wants to be rich… No, she will make you rich. No wonder the Bible says that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour! (Proverbs 18:22)

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The real man doesn’t mind empowering the woman to reach the peak of her career in life, the real man isn’t afraid of the woman’s success because he knows she is his pride! If she succeeds, he has succeeded! The scripture is clear on that “her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.” – Proverbs 31:11 NLT

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For a woman to dump her family name and pick up yours shows you that the woman isn’t coming to uphold her name, she is coming to uphold your name! The word “woman” ends with “man” and when a woman come into union with a man, her name ends with his name too.

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Our younger boys must learn to see women differently. They shouldn’t see ladies as people fit for hang out alone… God knows, when a woman comes into my life I do my best to let her see the best of herself, I do my best to let her know that she can achieve anything she wants to achieve. Young men have to remodel themselves, let their women-chase be for the good. Our culture and traditions made our young boys care less about the place of the female folks and that’s why you hear them say things like “if I marry her and she messes up, I will deal with her” or “she must be the one to do the laundry, the meals and every homework”. They make those remarks about females because they were raised to have no regard for the female folks other than seeing them as people who were sent to serve them and not really to help them.

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My dear Men, I am a young man who has grown to understand our women and I have discovered that they are also God’s finest and they are co-heirs and not really servants. Let’s respect our women and let’s deal with them as treasures. When next you meet a woman, let the first thing that comes to your mind be “wow… she must be good as an entrepreneur, photographer, lawyer, president,” and so on and not “wow… she must be good in bed”… Don’t forget, women are our pride!

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For now, digest it… 

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#KingGeorge 

#GracefulGeorge 

THE WIFE AND THE CHORES


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This is my response to the arguments people raised when I said my wife isn’t coming to do the chores but to be a wife and mother! 

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Few days ago, I wrote that my wife isn’t coming to do the chores but to be my wife and a mother to our kids and many people went berserk at least not many of their anger was fully expressed in the comment box but rather in my inbox, real life or counter posts. Some called it “cheap talk” and some said it’s “lack of experience” and I wondered what they’ve been experiencing in their own marriage! When you put God’s word away and allow your reasoning and traditions of men to control your life, you are bound to fail!.

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With the reactions that followed that very simple and straightforward post I came to realise how back our culture or perhaps our ignorance has taken us! Does it mean some of our culture was founded in ignorance? Perhaps the case is not far from that of a blind man trying to instruct those with sight on how to use the road. Some thought it was about being a feminist but to date I don’t know what it means to be a feminist and therefore I have decided not to go about with that label even when some have branded me as one. 

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In our part of the world (Nigeria), you see men talking about getting married simply because they have become very busy and would be needing someone at home who does the laundry, clean the house and do other domestic chores! That was the genesis of what we know as “house wives” today! They are not really so married to the man but to the house! But do you know it is so opposite of how the wise man, King Solomon explained a virtuous woman? They would quickly quote Proverbs 31:15
“She wakes up early in the morning, cooks food for her family, and gives the servants their share.”
But they forget the part that says “She looks at land and buys it. She uses the money she has earned and plants a vineyard.” Proverbs 31:16 
A wife isn’t bound to stay at home and just do the house works! Naturally, a woman wouldn’t want her husband to start competing with her in the kitchen because they are programmed to be more caring and concerned on those areas! But do you know? Naturally, a woman isn’t supposed to do the laundry? That is usually the man’s work because it requires the use of muscles! Now you see the balance which so many people neglect? With the orientation many received in our part of the world, a good wife is one who does the laundry, do the cooking, do the cleaning, take care of the children and just look after the house! Isn’t it in this part of the world that the adage that says “women’s education ends in the kitchen” was founded?

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Let’s take a look at the first marriage of this world! The first marriage was officiated by God and it’s safe to observe how and why the woman was given to the man! Adam was taking care of the garden without the woman, the garden was his home then! God didn’t say a man needs a woman so that she can come and work in the garden… No, God said it isn’t good for a man to be alone! A man needs a companion, someone who is always by him at all time! Adam never complained that there was too much work to do, the only problem he seemed to have then was that a suitable companion was lacking and therefore certain purpose could not be fulfilled. But then, the woman was made manifest and brought to Adam! The Bible declared that for the reason of the first union shall a man leave his father and his mother to become one with his wife! (Genesis 2:24)

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The woman is designed to complete the man, both are designed to complement each other! Both are designed to work out things together in understanding. The slavery of certain women started with the fall of Adam in the garden and they left into the world where Satan established a different system which is the opposite of God’s design! God told Eve even before women began to experience it “…Your husband will rule over you”. That wasn’t God’s original plan!

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Someone might argue that “well, the deed has been done! God’s original plan has gone!”. I have a news for you… Things changed in the new testament and every Christian is a new creature! We simply decide to live it out! In Ephesians 5:25 Paul said “husbands, love your wife just as Christ loves the church!” 

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The implication of Paul’s statement is too big if we begin to consider it and we have to! How does Christ love the Church? First, Jesus has set the Church free from heavy burdens (Matthew 11:28)! Jesus has set the records straight by doing it first and then asking us to work as He works in us (Philippians 2:13)! Jesus displayed servant leadership to a very great extent before expecting the church to display it too (John 13:12)! There are so many other things we can get from the love of Jesus and you quickly discover how it is expected that a man loves his wife! Loving your wife isn’t a talking stuff but an acting stuff! Now you see that we have a different life in Christ!

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When I say my wife isn’t coming to do the chores, I am trying to communicate that the role of a wife in the life of her husband and kids isn’t just to cook and do the domestic works! While those ones are expected from everyone, it is not the reason why we entered a union! This is where many people actually went berserk! Let me explain why we will all do the chores but aren’t marrying to do the chores.

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As long as you live, you must take care of yourself, you must cook food or buy cooked food to eat and stay healthy! You must do your laundry or pay someone to do it for you and all that! However, is that the reason why God made you? No! God didn’t make you to eat, take care of yourself and die! We are all designed for a purpose but in the course of fulfilling that purpose, we continue to fuel ourselves! It’s like saying that the reason a car is designed is to consume fuel… What kind of brain will agree with that? No… The car was designed to facilitate our movement but however, we fuel the car, wash it and maintain it so that we can happily enjoy it! No one buys a car simply to park it in the garage and wash it everyday… 

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As humans, we must take care of the things around us so that we can live more healthy. Even if you’re not married, your house needs to be cleaned! When you get married, the both of you now owns the house and it will still be cleaned either by you or your spouse or you pay someone to do it! However, cleaning the house isn’t why you entered the union! A woman is made for a purpose beyond cooking and doing house works! In fact, no one was created for that purpose… We only do that because we want to stay healthy and of course continue with fulfilling purpose.

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Now, that is exactly what I was meaning to address when I said my wife isn’t coming to do house chores but to really be my wife and mother to our kids. What does it mean to be a wife? It means to be a companion and completion for a life time! That is why I am getting married and not because I would be needing someone to do the house works! If that is the case, I will employ a house keeper and have her do the house work! Who is a wife? A cleaner or cooker? She may be doing those stuffs but that is not why you got married to her! Proverbs defines a perfect wife by saying

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“She is worth far more than jewels.  Her husband depends on her. He will never be poor.” – Prov. 31:10‭-‬11 ERV

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God’s purpose for marriage is to reflect His glory (Genesis 1:26-27), reign to His glory (Genesis 1:28) and produce His likeness (Genesis 1:28). The above three things can never be achieved without a union in love! A union without love may produce babies but it will not reflect God’s glory nor cause us to reign because a house divided against itself will surely fall! Now you see that God’s design for marriage isn’t about who is going to do the house work or who is going to make the money! Those ones are mere cares we take for ourselves simply because we are living in a house and not because we are married! Marriage shouldn’t happen because we suddenly need a cook or cleaner! I have seen situations in this part of the world where a man who is traveling gets married to a woman just to make her take care of his parents while he’s away! Many people marry for the wrong reason! 

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Who is a mother? Someone who gives birth and feed her children? Awww… Being a mother is beyond that too! Anyone can feed anyone and every woman can give birth without actually being a mother to those she gave birth to! A mother joins the father to train up children in the way they should grow so that when they become old they can’t depart from what their parents have taught them! A mother doesn’t give birth to children just to fill the house and tell people that she’s productive! There is more to being a mother than just producing children! That will be a lesson for another day.

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A good wife and mother will always care, she will always want to do the house works because she is designed to be more attentive to certain needs! A good husband and doesn’t allow her wife do all the work alone because he knows it’s a world of two becoming one and not a world of one ruling over another!
God bless you!

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#KingGeorge

#GracefulGeorge
http://www.georgesdiary.com.ng | George Onyedika Nnadozie | @georgennad

WHAT IF I MARRY HER?



After praying in the Spirit this morning and enjoying the wonderful presence of the Holy Spirit that was so much made manifest, I kept smiling at the fun I had while praying! I had so much fun with God that I never wanted to stop at that moment! I felt God responding to all my requests, I felt Him communicating to my spirit while I prayed in other tongues.

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Few minutes after the prayers, I was reading an article about a wife and I suddenly wondered what fun it would be to have a woman who sings with me, prays with me, write with me, read with me and also help bring up the kids to have an intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit. I literally saw us holding hands together and praying in the Spirit as a family! I saw her face, she is so lost in the love of God and I saw my children worshipping God with tears of love flowing down their eyes! For that moment I saw these things… I felt so good! 

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I said to God “that’s the woman am getting married to… A praying wife, a lover of God. That’s the children am receiving from you… Young worshippers!”

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Then, I start meditating again on “The Praying Spouse”

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Anyone considering this part of life as unimportant isn’t wise. You think it doesn’t matter who you end up with? Do know why God discouraged the Israelites from marrying Gentiles who then were idolaters? It is because the person you become one with determines how you end on earth and of course your impact! Take a look at Solomon, it was in the place of worship that he received wisdom and blessings! However, he had a terrible end because he went for “sexy” and “educated” wives instead of a lover of God! He went for “class” instead of going for the “praying woman”. 

Take a look at Ahab, he was a king who fear God, a king who still had reverence for God! But his wife Jezebel was an idolater! He went for a “sexy” woman too, a woman who is trendy! Didn’t you see how it affected his relationship with God?

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Many of us are threading on that path! We want “sexy” and “trendy” women, we want people who are presentable at parties, people who we can boast with, people who pride in their achievements… Not people who prides in God! So many mighty men had fallen because their spouse wasn’t a lover of God!

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I think it’s time for a rethink! Who are you dating? Who are you courting? Who have you engaged? Who do you associate yourself with?

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For me… It’s a lover of God! Nothing less!

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Proverbs 31:10-31

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#KingGeorge

#GracefulGeorge

http://www.georgesdiary.com.ng | George Onyedika Nnadozie | @georgennad 

ARE YOU PLANNING TO MARRY HIM?


11 Kinds of men you might need to think twice before you marry

Growing up as a young girl brings about dreams of how perfect your wedding will be. But the more you grow, you realize that no man is perfect and so you begin to find the one you can endure his attitude. There are some guys you should think twice before settling down with.

Here are 11:
The commitment-phobe
Finally locked down the guy every girl’s been chasing? Well, I got news for you. Just because he finally decided to knuckle down and commit, doesn’t mean he’s committed. If he used to be a commitment-phobe, he may still be and you’ll always wonder how invested in the relationship he really is.

The rebel
A lot of women are attracted to the bad boy. There’s just something mysterious and romantic about him. But a lot of times the rebel in society is a rebel in marriage. And pretty soon you’ll find him rebelling against you, too.

The narcissist
Narcissus was an ancient Greek mythological figure who was so beautiful that he fell in love with himself — but because he couldn’t leave his own reflection in the water, he eventually drowned. A person who is a narcissist is so convinced of their own greatness that they don’t see their weaknesses. Marrying a narcissist is a very one sided relationship. They’re always trying to vaunt their own greatness — often at the expense of others.

The control freak
Everybody likes to have things their own way. Unfortunately, because men are socialized to express hostility and anger when they don’t get what they want, a man who is a control freak can often become intimidating and even abusive (physically or mentally).

The I-know-more-than-you
It’s a good thing to marry a person for his brains. But be careful because you might end up marrying a know-it-all. And you’ll always feel like you’re wrong — even if it’s just an opinion.

The mama’s boy
You’ve heard that how a man treats his mother is how he’ll treat you. So you look for a guy who is close to his mom and spends a lot of time with her. But be careful, if he’s too close you’ll find yourself married to his mother, too. So you better get used to hearing, “My mom doesn’t do it that way.” And you better get used to his mother being your marriage counselor, too.

The pretty boy
Get used to spending your weekends at the mall looking for new clothes instead of going to soccer practice. But at least you’ll have a great looking house and car (even if you can’t afford it).

The pushover
As mentioned before, everybody likes to have their own way. So when you find a guy who lets you do whatever
you want and doesn’t complain about it, you want to grab him up. But after a while you’ll find yourself making all the decisions. And then you’ll find yourself complaining because he doesn’t pull his own weight.

The manly man
This guy talks about sports, beer and hunting all the time. Sure, he’s rugged but you better be prepared to change all the diapers and do all the housework. And forget about him getting you something nice for Valentine’s Day because real men don’t do that mushy stuff.

The fitness freak
Who doesn’t want a guy with chiseled abs and nice arms? But despite all his good (physical) traits you may soon find that the gym is taking up an exorbitant amount of time in your family’s life. And you’ll find yourself using phrases like “did you beat your PR today, honey?” But more importantly, a man who lets the gym run his life has let the servant become the master and you’ll soon find that he has other priorities out of whack, too.

The Godless man
Do you want to spend your life with a man who comes back every night staggering under the influence of alcohol? Do you want to spend you life with a man who will come back with lipsticks all over his cheeks and shirts? Do you want a man who doesn’t give a damn about God? I guess no woman in her right senses will want such a man. Right from friendship, you should know if a man is godly or not. That man that is after your skirt and is not ready to wait for marriage is not godly, he may marry you but how sure are you that he is not after other skirts?